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Band 4.5

As a country develops, people tend to buy more cars. Do the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

#country #people #cars #environment
A purchase of automobiles
such
 as cars increases drastically with the evolution
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a nation,
however
, there are both merits and demerits associated
for
Change preposition
with
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people
 with
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
car
.
This
 essay will discuss how the merits of owning a
car
 by
people
 surpass its disadvantage. On the one hand, with the development of a nation the purchasing power of an average individual
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
 significantly which encourages them to own a
car
 which makes them dependent and lazy in a long run.
This
 is because after experiencing a comfort of a
car
,
people
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 driving over walking even for short distances that may
increases
Change the verb form
increase
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 their reliance on their vehicle and may
also
minimizes
Change the verb form
minimize
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 their physical movement .
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 some
people
 become obese as they neglect walking and always prefer to travel in their
car
.
Hence
, owning a
car
 may result in some minor detrimental consequences on an individuals health.
On the other hand
,
although
 there are numerous advantages of owning a
car
, the fundamentals are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convenience and comfort. It means a longer distance can be covered in a short span of time without being impacted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental factors
such
 as pollution, temperature, and weather.
In addition
, cars are comfortable and even after driving for
longer
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long
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 hours, one may not experience fatigue.
For instance
,
people
 owning
a
Remove the article
car travel
a car journey
a car trip
show examples
car
 travel across nations for their work purpose as well as for leisure time which makes their overall travelling experience comfortable and convenient.
Consequently
,
although
 owning in a developing nation may decline the walking habit of an individual and make them more dependent, endless benefits of comfort and convenience cannot be neglected.
Therefore
, the merits of owning a
car
 undoubtedly surpass its demerits for individuals.
Submitted by ankit.hart on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon footprint
  • Sustainability
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Fossil fuels
  • Commuting
  • Urban sprawl
  • Ecological impact
  • Economic stimulation
  • Public transportation infrastructure
  • Renewable energy
  • Air quality
  • Environmental degradation
  • Alternative transportation
  • Car dependency
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