IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives to apply themselves and work hard in the modern work place. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?

#promotion #drives #work #place #people #factors #influence
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While getting a
promotion
Use synonyms
 is the biggest motivation for any
person
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 to
work
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 hard in a firm reasons for
such
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 are, working in
top
Correct article usage
a top
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 position and earning a higher salary.
By contrast
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, there are other
factors
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also
Linking Words
 which influences them , household responsibility and career building.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views in depth. Nowadays, many people want to climb the cooperate ladder;
moreover
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, everyone in the rat race and wants to job in the top position to take additional responsibility, give their opinion for the profitability of the company and helping them setting new rules and regulations.
In addition
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, they want to
work
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 on a lucrative package. Chief Executive Officer, Finance Head, Board of Directors are some examples of top-notch positions of any organisation. If someone holding that position they are earning
handsome
Correct article usage
a handsome
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 salary and perks or other benefits
such
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 as getting some percentage of company shares.
Thus
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, these are the reasons which motivate an individual to perform hard for the
promotion
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. On the flip side, there are other
factors
Use synonyms
also
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 which influences them to
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
such
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 as household responsibility. If there is only one breadwinner in the house, it is the liability of that
person
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 to
wok
Correct your spelling
work
show examples
 hardened.
Besides
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 that career building is another reason which encourages a
person
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 to do their job dedicatedly.
For example
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, to get
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience in
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
, a fresher perform their tasks on time and
work
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 dedicatedly.
Therefore
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, these are some
factors
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 apart from
promotion
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 to motivate a
person
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. To conclude,
Although
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 getting
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promotion
Correct article usage
a promotion
show examples
 or earning
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 salary
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the major reason for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
getting
promotion
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 and drive employees to
work
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 delicately.
Nevertheless
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, other
factors
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 motivate an individual to devote themself
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the organisation.
Submitted by niksmd1991 on

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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