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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Introduction
Some people argue that when dealing with the problems of
adult
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 life,
children
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 raised in families without large amounts of money are better prepared than those raised by wealthy
parents
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. In
this
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 essay, the argument can be on a sort of conventional fallacy to people with poor
childhood
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 for a few actual reasons, which are as follows.
Body paragraph 1
Coming across the economic hardship of
adult
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 life, a person brought up in a low-income family can handle their circumstances inactively under a short-sighted view enduring a lack of necessities as if they’d done for their
childhood
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. Despite the fact they are a bit familiar with it, there is little to no intelligence and experience for them on how to earn large amounts of money compared to their counter partners. To be more specific, the poor had decided on dividing a piece of bread into some parts sharing with siblings, while the rich one with
parents
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 experts in business had been frequently exposed to advanced intelligence and information. Regretfully, the difference between the two
children
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 remains until dealing with their difficulties in their adulthood.
Body paragraph 2
Also
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, a significant drawback of poor
children
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 is low self-esteem which is entirely formed during
childhood
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 and influences the problem-solving ability of their
adult
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 life. Because their
parents
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 are so busy making an income that they rarely build a good relationship with their
children
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, which leads to little confidence or trust toward themselves. Many cases of
adult
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 depression come out originated in their unfortunate
childhood
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, as Freud had referred to
this
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 point in his psychology thesis. Sadly, it is prevalent in slum communities over the world.
Conclusion
To sum up, adulthood problems
such
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 as a shortage of earnings as well as mental suffering can hardly be pre-empted by
children
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 from low-income families better than those with wealthy
parents
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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