IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The average standard of peoples health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now,to what extent do you agree or disagree this statement.

#peoples #health #future
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Nowadays,whether
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
degrade in the Coming days than the
state
Use synonyms
 it is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 present has attracted numerous controversies. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 well-being of an individual may
detoriate
Correct your spelling
deteriorate
 in future
while
Linking Words
 others hold the view that
people
Use synonyms
 will probably be more healthier than now.In my Opinion,
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 of mankind in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 days will
upgrade
Verb problem
improve
show examples
Linking Words
furthermore
Rephrase
further
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due to
Linking Words
 technological and environmental reasons. First and foremost it has been argued that technological
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 is why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 condition of
people
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 in future will be in excellent
state
Use synonyms
 in comparison to
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
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State
Use synonyms
.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
potentially
Add an article
the potentially
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 negative impact of technological innovations must be taken into account,
Istill
Correct your spelling
I still
reckon
Change the verb form
reckons
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 that machinery advancement has in many ways enormously enriched
people
Use synonyms
’s life.
For example
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; A
well- known
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
 Australian philosopher once said, “Innovation of medical
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
such
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 as computerized tomography (CT)scan ,magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) played a vital role in early diagnosis,treatment and Prevention of acute and chronic illnesses
for instance
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 , Cancer,infections etc· It is
thus
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, clearly shows that technological development in
Use synonyms
health
Add an article
the health
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 sector will impact greatly on expected average well-being of community
people
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 in Subsequent days.
In
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addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 another factor that should be considered is the
Envinomental
Correct your spelling
Environmental
state
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. As far as Society is concerned the
utimate
Correct your spelling
ultimate
 aim of environmental hygiene and Cleanliness is to make
people
Use synonyms
's lives healthier. A recent article published by The Gorkhapatra,
revaled
Correct your spelling
revealed
 that about 50 % of
people
Use synonyms
's general well-being
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 upon their Surroundings". undoubtedly,
This
Linking Words
 is a clear indication that the later generation
citizen's
Change noun form
citizens'
show examples
 wellness will
upgrade
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 much more than the present
State
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· In conclusion I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the Statement that
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 generation will be able to Survive Longer with better
health
Use synonyms
conditon
Correct your spelling
condition
conditions
due to
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 technological and environmental reasons outlined above. To address
this
Linking Words
 issue the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and society Should make a concerted effort to upgrade and improve
people
Use synonyms
's well-being.
Submitted by subedipunam21 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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