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Writing Samples
Band 5

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.

#levels #youth #crime #cities #world
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We all have to admit that, there is a rapid increment in the juvenile crime rate across the
world
Use synonyms
. Child
abusing
Replace the word
abuse
show examples
, social media and financial situations are the most common issues among the youth.
Hence
Linking Words
, the increasing crime rate could be decreased with some appropriate
measured
Replace the word
measures
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 taken by the government, parents and teachers to tackle the issue. That will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many children getting abused in society
as well as
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 at home. And when they grow up they see the
world
Use synonyms
 as an unsecured place to live.
Therefore
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, they try to change the
world
Use synonyms
 on their own terms. For ,example if a reputed person
abused
Wrong verb form
abuses
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 a kid , that kid feels unsecured among the reputed people in society. And they try to take revenge on them in order to protect others.
This
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 will lead to a lawbreaker. And in the modern
world
Use synonyms
, social media and money are more important for the youth than studies. Every adolescent has their own cinema hero
live
Replace the word
life
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 inside of them and, they desperately follow every step of their Hollywood characters. Just imagine if they chose a villain
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 They will create more enemies among them. But, through proper guidance, we can reduce the impact. If a parent could spare some time to spend with kids and
if
Correct word choice
apply
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have a nice chat. That will help kids to be more protective.
Also
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 if the government maximise the penalties for wrongful doings, kids will think twice before they attempt any criminal.
To conclude
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, unless the efforts are made by the government
this
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 situation will only escalate. The answer to reducing the crime level is to educate and guide the youth and increase the maximum penalty for lawbreakers.
Submitted by mahen527 on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the topic and provides a preview of the main points to be discussed. Conclude the essay by summarizing the key points and providing a resolution or recommendation.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure that the progression of ideas is logical and organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surge
  • productive activities
  • quality education
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • economic disparity
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • legitimate means
  • inclusive education
  • mentorship
  • community policing
  • youth engagement
  • early intervention
  • constructive pathways
  • social services
  • at-risk families
  • root causes
What to do next:
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