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Writing Samples
Band 5

Today people are buying more consumer goods like jewellery and households appliances. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

#people #consumer #goods #jewellery #households #appliances
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In modern
society
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,society
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 the general public
are
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is
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 buying more leisure and luxury products than ever before. Throughout
this
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 essay, I will explore the advantages and disadvantages
for
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of
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this
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 trend and express my own opinion on the matter.
Firstly
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, I will discuss the negative of
people
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 buying more
consumer
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good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
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secondly
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, I will share the positive of
this
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trends
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trend
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. Many
consumer
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goods
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 do not give any real benefit to the person who has bought them.
Moreover
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, these purchased items may have lost the
consumer
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 a substantial sum of money, possibly causing stress over personal
fiance
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finance
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.
For example
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, many of these
goods
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 could be bought with loans or
other type
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another type
other types
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 of credit, which may not always be paid back due to lack of funds or other financial commitments. On top of that households applicants,
such
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 as TVs and air conditioners need a lot of energy to be powered.
As a result
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 of
this
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, the individual will find they are again having
a
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apply
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to balance more bills and commitments
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then
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than
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 is achievable.
On the other hand
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, jewellery and fashion
gives
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give
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 many
people
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 great happiness.
Furthermore
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, if
people
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 have enough disposable income to spend on luxury items that make them happy and that should be their personal choice. If a person has enough money for an
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
 without getting into debt,
then
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 they should be free to buy that item. Many
people
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 feel they should
also
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 support certain companies and buy their products.
As a result
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 of
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this
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,this
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 the producers of
consumer
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goods
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 can employ large numbers of
people
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 giving them jobs and financial security. In conclusion, there are many benefits and negatives to
Correct article usage
the increase
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increase
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increasing
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 in
people
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 purchasing more
consumer
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goods
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. In my opinion, overall the increase is
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
 things, as it shows that more
people
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 have disposable income to spend on items they truly like.
Submitted by rasel_beck on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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