IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that country should produce most of the food that is eaten in their country and import as little as possible. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Most of believes that
country
Use synonyms
 should increase the proportion of
local
Change the adjective
locally
show examples
 produced
food
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 that's important for consuming while decreasing the importing to a smaller number.
Although
Linking Words
 it's unrealistic to some territories, the economic implications are convincing.
This
Linking Words
 essay aims to seek the cause, the nature and the positive aspect of
this
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 mindset To commence with,
food
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 adequacy for the entire population is a concern for nations throughout the centuries, and producing more
food
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 locally is a way to keep
food
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 security. It's obvious that the citizens need
food
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 to survive and the government need to stockpile
food
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 to prepare for the worst. To ensure
food
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 sufficiency, some governments encourage their citizens to produce more groceries.
For example
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, in South East Asia, a lot of nations have been created agricultural water facilities to help farmers with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rice and other crops productions. That's a useful strategy to achieve
food
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 security.
In addition
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,
this
Linking Words
 trend has a positive effect on the economy. As the demand for domestic
food
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 grows, more people can work
on
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in
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 agriculture and other
food
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 factories. These
field
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fields
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than
Correct your spelling
then
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 can pay more taxes and increase the revenue for the
country
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.
This
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 situation leads to a reduction in unemployment rates as well. The most salient example
Spain
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is Spain
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
which
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 encouraged domestic
food
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 production, has experienced more than 15% economic growth over the
last
Linking Words
 decade.
Therefore
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, producing more foods in the
country
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 has an evitable contribution to the economy.
Moreover
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,
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a supporter
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supporter
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supporters
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 of
this
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 idea
also
Linking Words
believe
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believes
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 that, with local products, it's easier to control
food
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 quality. Since everything is under our control, we can monitor resources, land, crop, and what pesticide is used. There are a lot of cases the government detected and recalled some imported
food
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for
Change preposition
apply
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containing banned substances. So with local
food
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, we can protect the consumer with safe, hygienic
food
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 standards easier than
imported
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the imported
an imported
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one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
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. To conclude, the outcome of local
food
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-producing is very crucial whereas importing foreign products can create essential problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
country
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, with loss of wealth and jobs,
food
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 security and quality.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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