IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In some countries, small town-centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?

#countries #town-centre #shops #business #people #drive #stores #cars #access #change
Big town-centre markets, which are usually located outside of a town had been grown in the market share compare to smaller
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
, causing some difficulties for
carless
Correct your spelling
careless
show examples
 customers to shop.
This
inconvinience
Correct your spelling
inconvenience
 creates a high demand for private transportation use,
therefore
 increasing
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of CO2
emisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
. As there are no any
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
 from it, I
regards
Change the verb form
regard
show examples
this
 situation mostly
incovinient
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
 and detrimental both for people and nature. Overall, driving for
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
 for shopping
pourposes
Correct your spelling
purposes
 is time consuming, stressful and polluting, these are three main connected disadvantages of
consume
Change the verb form
consuming
show examples
 from out-of-town mall or shopping centre.
Firstly
, traffic became the most
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 urban issue, the tension can be
decreassed
Correct your spelling
decreased
 if citizens cut their driving time. Not only
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 stressful to spend hours on the road
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 demotivating people and cause mental fatigue.
As a result
,
unecesary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
necessary
 car trips causing another health problem
such
 a
migrane
Correct your spelling
migraine
, or headache. Noise from
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
busy roads
as
Add a missing verb
is as
show examples
 much harmful as intense emotional stress.
In other words
, driving as
less
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
 as possible is better both for mental health and general human well-being.
Secondly
,
unressponsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 use of
fosils
Correct your spelling
fossils
foils
 is
even
Add the comma(s)
, even more,
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
worse, it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 air pollution,
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
 of illness and low immunity of millions. Its commonly known that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 using other alternatives from transportation, buses and bikes
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, can cut carbon dioxide
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 in
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
insignificant
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
.
Shoping
Correct your spelling
Shopping
 in a local market, while supporting smaller
bussines
Correct your spelling
business
 and use green transport is more
advantageus
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 for people, rather
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 to drive for
grocceries
Correct your spelling
groceries
.
Submitted by nargizataishybay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!