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Band 3.5

In some countries, small town-centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?

#countries #town-centre #shops #business #people #drive #stores #cars #access #change
Big town-centre markets, which are usually located outside of a town had been grown in the market share compare to smaller
bussinesses
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businesses
, causing some difficulties for
carless
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careless
show examples
 customers to shop.
This
inconvinience
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inconvenience
 creates a high demand for private transportation use,
therefore
 increasing
amount
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the amount
show examples
 of CO2
emisions
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emissions
. As there are no any
benifit
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benefit
benefits
 from it, I
regards
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regard
show examples
this
 situation mostly
incovinient
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inconvenient
 and detrimental both for people and nature. Overall, driving for
long distance
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long-distance
show examples
 for shopping
pourposes
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purposes
 is time consuming, stressful and polluting, these are three main connected disadvantages of
consume
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consuming
show examples
 from out-of-town mall or shopping centre.
Firstly
, traffic became the most
relevent
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relevant
 urban issue, the tension can be
decreassed
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decreased
 if citizens cut their driving time. Not only
its
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it's
it is
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 stressful to spend hours on the road
,
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apply
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 but
also
 demotivating people and cause mental fatigue.
As a result
,
unecesary
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unnecessary
necessary
 car trips causing another health problem
such
 a
migrane
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migraine
, or headache. Noise from
a
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apply
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busy roads
as
Add a missing verb
is as
show examples
 much harmful as intense emotional stress.
In other words
, driving as
less
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
 as possible is better both for mental health and general human well-being.
Secondly
,
unressponsible
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responsible
 use of
fosils
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fossils
foils
 is
even
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, even more,
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more
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apply
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worse, it
cause
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causes
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 air pollution,
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which
show examples
wich
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which
show examples
 is
reason
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the reason
show examples
 of illness and low immunity of millions. Its commonly known that
,
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apply
show examples
 using other alternatives from transportation, buses and bikes
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, can cut carbon dioxide
level
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levels
show examples
 in
air
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the air
show examples
in
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insignificant
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significant
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a significant
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amount
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amounts
show examples
.
Shoping
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Shopping
 in a local market, while supporting smaller
bussines
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business
 and use green transport is more
advantageus
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advantageous
 for people, rather
that
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than
show examples
 to drive for
grocceries
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groceries
.
Submitted by nargizataishybay on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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