In some countries, small town-centre shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?

Big town-centre markets, which are usually located outside of a town had been grown in the market share
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to smaller businesses, causing some difficulties for careless customers to shop. The inconvenience creates a high demand for private transportation use,
therefore
increasing
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
of CO2 emissions. As there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
from it, I regard
this
situation
mostly
Change preposition
as mostly
show examples
inconvenient and detrimental both for people and nature.
Firstly
, traffic became the most relevant urban issue, the tension can be decreased if citizens cut their driving time. Not only
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
stressful to spend hours on the road
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
demotivating people and cause mental fatigue.
As a result
, unnecessary car trips causing another health problem
such
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
migraine, or headache. Noise from busy roads is as much harmful as intense emotional stress.
In other words
, driving as little as possible is better both for mental health and general human well-being.
Secondly
, irresponsible use of fossils is the worst, as it had been causing air pollution for many years,
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
is
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
illness and low immunity of millions. Its commonly known that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
using other alternatives from transportation, buses and bikes
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example, can cut carbon dioxide
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
in
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
insignificant
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
.
Shoping
Correct your spelling
Shopping
in a local market, while supporting smaller
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and use green transport is more
advantageus
Correct your spelling
advantageous
for people, rather
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
to drive
Change the verb form
driving
show examples
for groceries. Overall, driving for long-distance for shopping purposes is time consuming, stressful and polluting, these are three main connected disadvantages of consuming from out-of-town mall or shopping centre.
Submitted by nargizataishybay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: