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Band 4

Some people think that because children find subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?

#people #children #subjects #mathematics #philosophy
The vast majority of
people
 are convinced that school
subjects
such
 as
math
 and
philosophy
 are
though
Correct your spelling
tough
show examples
 and suppose that these
subjects
 are should not be mandatory, whereas students must be able to choose discipline by themselves.
This
 essay disagrees with
such
 a viewpoint and
firstly
, it will discuss reasons why
such
subjects
 are important for students.
Secondly
, the possible outcomes without basic
knowledge
 of
math
 and
philosophy
 will be discussed.
First
 and foremost, it is evident that modern
people
 cannot live without the basic
knowledge
 of
math
 owing that society faced with mathematics in everyday living. Individuals should be able to divide, multiply,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
add and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
subtract, all of these types
impossible
Add a missing verb
are impossible
show examples
 without primary
knowledge
 which
usually
Add a missing verb
is usually
show examples
 given at the school. To exemplify,
math
 is essential for any curriculum at its academic level, so if the
people
 do not have the fundamental
knowledge
, it would be impossible to join
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 level of
studying
Change the form of the verb
study
show examples
.
Secondly
, the ignoring of given
subjects
 could have harmful consequences due to lack of required skills for living and poorly educated
people
. Undoubtedly, that science as
math
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
 analytical and problem-solving skills, while
philosophy
 gives pupils basic
knowledge
 of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 and highly important thoughts about life. These disciplines help in fostering rational thinking, assisting in mental development and inculcate empathy. To conclude, it is evident that schools should pay a particular emphasis to disciplines
such
 as
math
 and
philosophy
 because these
subjects
 are significant for living and without
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
 society could have
unpredictable
Add an article
an unpredictable
show examples
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
. I
am firmly believe
Change the verb form
firmly believe
show examples
, that schools should
fostering
Change the verb form
foster
be fostering
show examples
 the following
subjects
 and do not allow make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 optional.
Submitted by alexia.13 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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