IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Shopping is the favourite past time of most of the young people.Why is this the case?Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities in their free time?

Shopping is the favourite recreational activity among
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of the youth.The
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 attributed to
this
Linking Words
,
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apply
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is to remain abreast with matters
Use synonyms
fashion
Change preposition
of fashion
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.
Linking Words
However
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,However
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 shopping is a waste of
time
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 in my opinion and the youngsters can be encouraged to spend their
time
Use synonyms
 in other useful
activities
Use synonyms
 like reading. to start with,the young people go for regular purchasing with the aim of satisfying their needs
such
Linking Words
 as
fashion
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.
Use synonyms
Fashion
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A fashion
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 trend among the young generation changes so frequently that for one to remain updated with matters
Use synonyms
fashion
Change preposition
of fashion
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,regular visits to shop would do the trick.
Astudy
Correct your spelling
A study
 done in the united kingdom in 2020,revealed that 80% of the population that visited the mall commonly to check and buy the latest
fashion
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 trends were
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young people.
Therefore
Linking Words
 unnecessary shopping should not be encouraged in my opinion because it wastes
time
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,which could be spent on other
activities
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 like reading. To add on to that,the youth can spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 in more productive
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as reading by engaging their minds in studying
this
Linking Words
 will help them broaden their thinking,furnish them with information and prepare them for their future careers.To
further
Linking Words
 explain,
a
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apply
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research done
in
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at
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makerere
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Makerere
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 university in 2019,showed that 75% of the young people who spend quality
time
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 reading produced the best grades.So the youth should be
motivared
Correct your spelling
motivated
 to develop
reading
Correct article usage
a reading
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 culture during their free
time
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. in conclusion,in as much as shopping is essential in our day to day life,the youngsters should be motivated to indulge in more useful
activities
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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