Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Do you agree?
A
big
amount of Correct word choice
large
people
consider that women’s role in parenting is more important than men’s. However
, others disagree with this
statement and are sure that both parents are in the
equal conditions and have the same abilities to bring up Correct article usage
apply
kids
. I will elaborate on these two thoughts and share my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To start with, the first group of people
can actually have such
an opinion due to
life experience. Nowadays, too many kids
were
raised only by Wrong verb form
are
mum
as their dad either did not want to take part in bringing up his child or just left the family. Correct pronoun usage
their mum
For instance
, both adults communicate with the baby from birth, however
, when the kid becomes older, the vast majority of males do not have a desire to do it.
Next,
many people
all over the world are struggling with gender equality, even in kids
raising. Lots of young people
are greatly aware that their role in the family depends only on individuals and their aspirations. Furthermore
, some countries started to provide maternity leave not only for women but also
for their husbands. For example
, in Norway and Iceland, there is a concept called “daddy quotas”, following which, dad
must look after his kid for 14 weeks - exactly Correct article usage
a dad
a
half of maternity leave.
Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
, in my opinion, I am incredibly delighted with fact
that more and more dads are involved in raising Add an article
the fact
kids
now. Hopefully, in the future, there would
be a significant number of happy families as the world is changing and so are the minds of Wrong verb form
will
people
.Submitted by mats180707 on
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Essay Structure
Task Response: The essay adequately addresses the topic, providing arguments for both sides of the issue. However, it could benefit from a clearer and more balanced presentation of the two perspectives.
Essay Structure
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Additionally, the supporting examples are somewhat relevant, but they could be more cohesive and effectively connected to the main points.