Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Do you agree?

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big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

amount of

people

Use synonyms

consider that women’s role in parenting is more important than men’s.

However

Linking Words

, others disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement and are sure that both parents are in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equal conditions and have the same abilities to bring up

kids

Use synonyms

. I will elaborate on these two thoughts and share my opinion in the following paragraphs. To start with, the first group of

people

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can actually have

such

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an opinion

due to

Linking Words

life experience. Nowadays, too many

kids

Use synonyms

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

raised only by

mum

Correct pronoun usage

their mum

show examples

as their dad either did not want to take part in bringing up his child or just left the family.

For instance

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, both adults communicate with the baby from birth,

however

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, when the kid becomes older, the vast majority of males do not have a desire to do it.

Next,

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many

people

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all over the world are struggling with gender equality, even in

kids

Use synonyms

raising. Lots of young

people

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are greatly aware that their role in the family depends only on individuals and their aspirations.

Furthermore

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, some countries started to provide maternity leave not only for women but

also

Linking Words

for their husbands.

For example

Linking Words

, in Norway and Iceland, there is a concept called “daddy quotas”, following which,

dad

Correct article usage

a dad

show examples

must look after his kid for 14 weeks - exactly

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

half of maternity leave.

To conclude

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, in my opinion, I am incredibly delighted with

fact

Add an article

the fact

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that more and more dads are involved in raising

kids

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now. Hopefully, in the future, there

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be a significant number of happy families as the world is changing and so are the minds of

people

Use synonyms

mats180707Sun Sep 12 2021

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Essay Structure

Task Response: The essay adequately addresses the topic, providing arguments for both sides of the issue. However, it could benefit from a clearer and more balanced presentation of the two perspectives.

Essay Structure

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Additionally, the supporting examples are somewhat relevant, but they could be more cohesive and effectively connected to the main points.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Do you agree?

The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss causes and effects of this disturbing trends. Give your solution for the causes.

A restaurant has placed for waiters in your local newspaper. write a letter to the applying fo the job . explain what you are currently doing . describe your suitabilitu for this area of week . say when you can attedn an interview.

Theoretical subjects (such as mathematic and philosophy) should no longer be taught in universities because most of university students choose practical subjects (such as accounting and economics).To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.