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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Introduction
While there is a set
retirement
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age
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 for every occupation but there are some
people
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 those believe that there are a certain set of jobs where human being deserve early pension and
retirement
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.
Occupations
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 like army and pilots are among its examples.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons for the same;
however
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, I completely argue with the above statement that in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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certain
sets
Correct the article-noun agreement
set
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 of
occupations
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 early
retirement
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 is required.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the
age
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 of
retirement
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 has been set by every industry which is the sixty years and from past many ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
years
people
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 are getting retire at the same
age
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. Experts considered that an average career of an individual who falls under
this
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retirement
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age
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 is forty to fifty years;
moreover
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, during
this
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 ,tenure a person entirely completes their family responsibility,
therefore
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 sixty is the ideal
age
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 of getting
retirement
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.
For instance
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, developing countries like India, and many developed nations
also
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 have considered
this
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age
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 as an ideal.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 assume that there are set of
occupations
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 like army community, pilots; where
people
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 deserve to retire at earliest. As
people
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 in these industries have risked their lives
,
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apply
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 while doing their jobs. To exemplify, they do not have any fixed working hours and holidays.
Furthermore
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, they do not get much time to spend with their loved ones as they are on national duty. Henceforth, they deserve to retire and receive a pension before the standard
retirement
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age
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.
Conclusion
To conclude,
Although
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 the industry has already set a
retirement
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age
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 for every class of group;
by contrast
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, many
occupations
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 person can deserve to retire early.
Therefore
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, I completely agree with the statement.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • pension
  • unfair
  • occupational hazards
  • early retirement
  • physically demanding jobs
  • mental health
  • burnout
  • job-related stress
  • flexible retirement
  • health risks
  • workplace adaptation
  • career satisfaction
  • work-life balance
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