SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE ACADEMIC SUCCESS DEPENDS MOSTLY ON HAVING A GOOD TEACHER. OTHERS ARGUE THAT IT IS THE ATTITUDE OF THE STUDENT THAT MATTERS MOST. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Children
are the age when they can develop in all aspects whether social
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, language or cognitive thinking. Some people think that
children
should develop their creativity to outweigh their academics in school, while I disagree with
this
statement, and the following examples will be provided to support my point of view. School is the place where promote
potential
Add an article
the potential
show examples
of
children
to be their own personality including
give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
which help them could
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
in the big society in the future.
Therefore
, schools should provide a balanced timetable between promoting creativity
such
as Music,
arts
Change the capitalization
Arts
show examples
, Drama and Creative writing
subjects
and academic
subjects
such
as Mathematics, Science and Socioeconomic.
This
is because
children
should find their own interests
first
, which are different in each person. Giving a balanced timetable will be a good way to protect some
children
who do not want to go to school due to the fact that they have to study in an uninteresting class. Another important reason is that academic
subjects
such
as Math, Science and Language are not less important than a
creativity
Replace the word
creative
show examples
subject. The reason is that
children
should learn to survive in society if they do not have
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
to protect them in the future.
For example
, it is clearly shown that math is one important subject that everyone should be taught because in daily life people need to count or spend money which need to have a least basic knowledge of math or whether science which would answer everything is surrounding us
such
as natural phenomenon.
Therefore
, academic
subjects
are not less important than Music, Arts, Drama and Creative Writing
subjects
. Schools should have a balanced timetable between
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creative
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
and academic
subjects
in order to give
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
knowledge to
children
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fundamental education.
Then
,
children
could have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to choose what they would like to learn deeper in the future.
Submitted by boon.suchaya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: