IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
A child’s upbringing time plays an important role in his overall development. Presently, a significant number of people believe that
children
 should be allowed to make
mistakes
, whereas others opine that
parents
 and their elders should prevent kids to take any wrong
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
.
This
 essay intends to analyze both
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
, but in my opinion, guardians should stop their
children
 from making any mistake. youngers should be free to do any activity in their childhood time as they can improve their
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 ability and become a confident person in their future. When they learn from
mistakes
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early age
then
 they will
start
Add the particle
tostart
show examples
 think independently in order to solve their problems, which will definitely make them mature
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
. Along with
this
,
mistakes
 are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sign of learning
that is
 helpful to gain a lot of experience regarding a particular thing. A child,
for example
, is failed because of his errors
then
 he will try again and again to achieve and complete his task.
As a result
, he can gain a wide range of experience. On the other side, there are some reasons why people think that adults should fend off kids from making any mistake. To commence with,
parents
 are the
first
 teacher of every child and every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 have very strong bonding with their
children
 so they should pay attention to their
children
’s activities. If any child is indulged in any negative activity, their
parents
 should teach them about their
mistakes
 and prevent them from doing any fault. To conclude, as per my above discussion, I opine that
children
 should be encouraged to resolve their implications and not to be afraid of making
mistakes
 because doing errors
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many benefits to make a person mature in his future.
Submitted by pardeep.brar52 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
What to do next:
Look at other essays: