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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some parents guide their children's education towards specific careers, such as in engineering, medicine, or law. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child who has this kind of parental guidance?

Few
nurtures
Use the right word
nurturers
show examples
 help their teenagers in a particular stream of the curriculum
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 helps them to opt for a good profession. In my
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
opinion
having
Punctuation problem
, having
show examples
such
Linking Words
 kind of ,father
mother
Correct word choice
and mother
show examples
 have their own boon and bane for an infant. The first and foremost is, guardians love their blossoms a lot. They work hard to give the best education and amenities to young one so that they will achieve life goals. Parents always gave an example of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 life experiences to teenagers so that
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
show examples
 learn from their mistakes and try to avoid that way.
For example
Linking Words
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 if nurtures belong to
law
Correct article usage
a law
show examples
background
Punctuation problem
background,
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 they know all the pros and cons of that profession
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they prove to be the best advisor for their kids because they know better ways
how
Rephrase
apply
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to remove hurdles for blossoms same is happening in another
profession
Punctuation problem
profession,
show examples
 if
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 one
goes
Verb problem
follows
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
mother
Check wording
mother's
show examples
footstep
Fix the agreement mistake
footsteps
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, kid's
show examples
kid's
Check wording
kids
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 don't need to put much effort as everything is already done by parents.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some kids have different choices, interests,
habits
Correct word choice
and habits
show examples
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 they have to go with what their parents tell them to do. In
this
Linking Words
teenage
Replace the word
teenager
show examples
 might
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
complete his studies in that field ,
unfortunately
Correct word choice
but unfortunately
show examples
,
will
Correct pronoun usage
he will
show examples
 not get the same success as their guardians achieved
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
. To
Illustrate
Fix capitalization
illustrate
show examples
this
Linking Words
Bollywood famous
Correct word order
famous Bollywood
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 actress Deepika Padukone belongs to a sports background family.
his
Fix capitalization
His
show examples
 father gave her the best badminton coaching
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 she
chooses
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 to model and
acting
Wrong verb form
act
show examples
 for herself and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the fifth-most loved actress in Bollywood.
Fix capitalization
Sometimes
show examples
sometimes
Punctuation problem
sometimes,
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 taken
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 pressure
Change preposition
on there
show examples
there
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
blossom to
Correct word order
to blossom
show examples
choose
Verb problem
apply
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 their wish. In
this
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
way
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
young one might
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
achieve that task
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 from the inner ,
heart
Check wording
apply
show examples
 he finds himself in the wrong place
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 leads them into depression. In Conclusion,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is good to motivate and guide their young ones towards the right path
at
Punctuation problem
. At
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 the same
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 it is the duty
of taken
Change preposition
to take
show examples
 care to know what their kids want in life. In spite of putting pressure on
them
Punctuation problem
them,
show examples
 encourage them
what
Verb problem
to do what
show examples
 they find good for themself.

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task
Make a clear plan before you write. In the first para, give your view. In the next para, list good parts. In another para, list bad parts. End with a short line that repeats your view.
task
Give two clear parts in the body: one for good points, one for bad points. Use one or two simple examples for each part.
coherence
Use clear links to show how ideas go with each other, like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'for example', 'in addition'.
language
Use short, direct sentences. Check you use the correct words and make fewer mistakes.
idea
You show a real topic and try to use examples.
example
You try to tell both sides of the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • parental guidance
  • specialization
  • high performing careers
  • competitive environments
  • skills and knowledge
  • exploration
  • interests
  • talents
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • passions
  • abilities
  • creativity
  • resentment
  • controlling
What to do next:
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