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Band 5

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. What is your opinion?

#space #exploration #money
A big proportion of expenditure is being spent on exploring the space. There are two contrasting views where one group of society vehemently deemed that
money
 should
be spend
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be spent
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 on space exploration while
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the other
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other
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others
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 propose that there are myriad other essential things where
money
 can be utilised. In my opinion
education
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the education
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 system and
medical
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the medical
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 sector are the two most prominent sectors where investment will be more beneficial. In the forthcoming paragraphs, will discuss why
money
 should be spent on these two things.
First
 of all,
education
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the education
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 system is
a
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the
show examples
Correct your spelling
backbone
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back bone
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backbone
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 of any nation which is essential for
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overall
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over all
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overall
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 development
for
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of
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country
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the country
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. It can be developed by government
fund
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funds
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.
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Most
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Mostly
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Most
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 individuals are not able to get
a
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apply
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higher
education
 due to
lack
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a lack
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 of
money
.
For instance
, India is a developing country where more than
to
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apply
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40 % population
are
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is
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 under
poverty
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the poverty
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 line. Due to that, they cannot go to
the
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apply
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school. Even can not get
better
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a better
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 job.
Education
 is a right of each and every individual so,
community
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the community
a community
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 can be benefited
by
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from
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 investment.
Secondly
, humans have been suffering
a
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from a
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plethora of diseases for
long
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a long
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 time.
Healthy
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A healthy
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 mind is directly related to
healthy
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a healthy
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 body. Is it important to spend
money
 on
advancement
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the advancement
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 of medical infrastructure? Certainly, yes! Medical expenses have become costly and
moreover
 it is unreachable to poor people. Every year, we are hearing about a new disease which
have
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has
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 created havoc in society. Government should invest
fund
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funds
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on
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in
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hospital
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hospitals
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 and medical equipment.
For example
, many developing countries have more death
rate
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rates
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 compare to developed countries because they do not have good medical facilities. Healthy people are
pillar
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a pillar
the pillar
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 of the nation. To recapitulate, I have discussed why authority should concentrate more on
education
 and
medical
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medicine
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 than space. Without good
education
 and medical facilities country cannot gain
confidence
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the confidence
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 of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 public and can not reach to higher position either.
Submitted by namita.sinha25 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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