Even though Globalization affects the world’s economics in a very positive way, its negative sides should not be forgotten. Discuss.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many citizens across the world are facing severe health conditions

due to

Linking Words

their unhealthy lifestyles.

While

Linking Words

there are many reasons for

this

Linking Words

, in my opinion, a hectic daily schedule with long working

hours

Use synonyms

and increased influence of drinking culture are the main contributors to the deteriorating

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

of individuals. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both the reasons and provide solutions based on relevant examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the biggest factor pushing

people

Use synonyms

towards an unhealthy lifestyle is their unbalanced work life. Nowadays, the traditional schedule of 9 to 5 has completely vanished and employees are asked to put in more

hours

Use synonyms

to see decent growth which directly impacts the choices they make in selecting the food they consume.

For example

Linking Words

, after working long

hours

Use synonyms

, there is so little time left that

people

Use synonyms

usually decide to order their dinner from a restaurant which usually is very unhealthy. In order to overcome

this

Linking Words

dependency on junk food,

people

Use synonyms

should start focusing on achieving a work-life balance where they commit certain

hours

Use synonyms

job

Correct pronoun usage

their job

show examples

and still have the time to prepare a healthy meal for themselves.

Secondly

Linking Words

, another contributing factor is the modern trend of post-work drinking sessions. It has become a norm among colleagues to plan their evening

get together

Add a hyphen

get-together

show examples

in a bar every day after work. In regards to

this

Linking Words

, recently,

Wall

Correct article usage

the Wall

show examples

Street Journal published an article on the growth of office-themed bars in New York in the

last

Linking Words

five years and the upward trend of beer consumption observed in the evening.

While

Linking Words

having a couple of drinks to unwind with colleagues is not bad at all,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

repeating

this

Linking Words

every day over a period of time will directly affect the physical well-being. To stop

this

Linking Words

frequent visit to bars, what can be done is that employers should promote alternate places to have a get-together. It can be done at the nearest coffee shop or even at a pizza joint.

To conclude

Linking Words

, it is evident that health problems are seeing an upward trend in many countries

due to

Linking Words

the unhealthy lifestyle of

people

Use synonyms

. Extremely demanding jobs and daily drinking are the two factors that are affecting the physical health of individuals. With proper work-life balance and by organising different evening catchup locations, in my opinion,

this

Linking Words

problem can be controlled to a great extent.

hshrivastava78992Mon Sep 13 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While the essay provides solid reasons for unhealthy lifestyles, it could benefit from presenting more detailed solutions to enhance the argument.

coherence and cohesion

The logical flow of ideas is generally good, but clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could strengthen the overall structure.

coherence and cohesion

Consider varying the vocabulary and sentence structures used. This would enhance the essay's overall fluency and engagement.

task achievement

The essay clearly identifies two main causes of unhealthy lifestyles and supports them with relevant examples.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction effectively outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay, creating a clear roadmap for the reader.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

383 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Pop music is extremely popular around the world. Why do you think this genre of music is so popular worldwide? Discuss your thoughts and give details and examples to support your opinion.
Nowadays Pop music is becoming very popular in the world and the pop music flowers growing day by day. Because pop music gives you the vibe of the songs the peoples feels the song and people get out of their problems while listening to such a type of songsOften people also dance according to the combination of the songs. Let me share an instance, My friend does a very stressful job therefore he gets tired but he said when he listen this type of music he forgets about the problems and stress in a way he feels very relaxed also he told me while listening pop songs he will able to complete his tasks more efficiently and in less time.But it depends on the person to the person some people don't like these songs like me when I listened to these types of songs it gives me headache and I feel uncomfortable.
8.5
band
A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university. He/she has asked for your advice about studying this subject . Write a letter to your friend.in your letter Give details of the course you took at school Explain why you recommend the university Give some advice on how to apply
I hope this letter finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing this letter to share my experiences about the course that you are interested in enrolling in at the School of Business at Independent University Bangladesh.
<4
band
Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class works should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people trust that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people trust that occasionally class works should be done in small groups.
7
band
Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do anything. Others believe that men and women are not equal and therefore are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?
Had been argued, that males and females have the same capabilities in the work field and that women should be provided with the same opportunities as men .However, others argue that men are more productive in some work fields. I believe that most jobs are more suitable for men than women.
4
band
Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantage and disadvantage of this.
Over the last few years, the numerous of people who prefer to travel other countries to study a outings language instead of learning in their homeland has increased significantly. Although there are several advantages of travel abroad to learning diffirent language, it can have some disadvantages as well. In this essay I will try to discuss both positive and negative sides of this and draw a conclusion.

Even though Globalization affects the world’s economics in a very positive way, its negative sides should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Word Count

Pop music is extremely popular around the world. Why do you think this genre of music is so popular worldwide? Discuss your thoughts and give details and examples to support your opinion.

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class works should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do anything. Others believe that men and women are not equal and therefore are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantage and disadvantage of this.