Many people use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and for news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #events

There is no denying fact that the phenomenon of social

media

, which

people

use every day

for

Change preposition

show examples

keep connect with

people

and news is ubiquitous across the globe due to its paramount

important

Replace the word

importance

show examples

Although

they have a plethora of merits yet numerous demerits are

also

there which will be elaborated in upcoming paragraphs. Initiating with the best possible benefits that the most significant advantage is due to social

media

people

become more

socia

Correct your spelling

social

and they updated with events that happened around. Along with it, Not only

the

Add a missing verb

does the

show examples

bonding improve

beween

Correct your spelling

between

individuals but

also

the trust, understanding and faithfulness increase, which leads to decline

hasitation

Correct your spelling

hesitation

. Due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

Add a comma

,media

show examples

the knowledge increases in various sectors like economic, sports and politics. these factors can not be ignored. On the paradoxical side, there are many drawbacks as well,

First

and foremost

people

can easily

treps

Correct your spelling

trips

due to illegal activity and frauds, which leads to some fear among the

people

towards social

media

In addition

, A plethora of fake news can smoothly share on social sites, as a consequence, the probability of untrust and kindness can decreases.

For instance

, in the contemporary era, it's hard to find a

jenuine

Correct your spelling

genuine

person on social

media

. In recapitulation, I would

Add the particle

tolike

show examples

reiterate that though due

media

have disadvantages

such

as fraud,

illigal

Correct your spelling

illegal

activity and

moking

Correct your spelling

smoking

making

but the proportion of negative activity is very less on social

media

, the advantage

are

Change the verb form

show examples

too many to be ignored.

Submitted by rajnpatelb06 on Wed Sep 15 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster connections
geographical barriers
disseminating
credible sources
misinformation
mental health
social comparison
cyberbullying
leverage
digital marketplace
political activism
social justice
widespread mobilization

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Many people use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and for news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease,governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a homes rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men eventhough the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50%female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain % of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?