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Band 3.5

Many people use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and for news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #events
There is no denying fact that the phenomenon of social
media
, which
people
 use every day
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 keep connect with
people
 and news is ubiquitous across the globe due to its paramount
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
.
Although
 they have a plethora of merits yet numerous demerits are
also
 there which will be elaborated in upcoming paragraphs. Initiating with the best possible benefits that the most significant advantage is due to social
media
people
 become more
socia
Correct your spelling
social
 and they updated with events that happened around. Along with it, Not only
the
Add a missing verb
does the
show examples
 bonding improve
beween
Correct your spelling
between
 individuals but
also
 the trust, understanding and faithfulness increase, which leads to decline
hasitation
Correct your spelling
hesitation
. Due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Add a comma
,media
show examples
 the knowledge increases in various sectors like economic, sports and politics. these factors can not be ignored. On the paradoxical side, there are many drawbacks as well,
First
 and foremost
people
 can easily
treps
Correct your spelling
trips
 due to illegal activity and frauds, which leads to some fear among the
people
 towards social
media
.
In addition
, A plethora of fake news can smoothly share on social sites, as a consequence, the probability of untrust and kindness can decreases.
For instance
, in the contemporary era, it's hard to find a
jenuine
Correct your spelling
genuine
 person on social
media
. In recapitulation, I would
like
Add the particle
tolike
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 reiterate that though due
media
 have disadvantages
such
 as fraud,
illigal
Correct your spelling
illegal
 activity and
moking
Correct your spelling
smoking
making
 but the proportion of negative activity is very less on social
media
, the advantage
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 too many to be ignored.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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