IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while ​others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 support the opinion that
head
Correct article usage
the head
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
choose everything, while others consider that workers of
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have a significant vote.
Company
Use synonyms
boss
Fix the agreement mistake
bosses
show examples
 have a role and higher post than others, but I believe that it is not changed something and all decisions should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
include democracy while choosing in the
company
Use synonyms
.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
hand
Correct quantifier usage
other hand
show examples
, managers has the opportunities to choose everything without a request to accept and
this
Linking Words
 role to do what you want. Definitely,
this
Linking Words
 is important for the future of the
company
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 type of decisions demand huge responsibility. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 is
ancient
Correct article usage
the ancient
show examples
 pharaohs of Egypt, all
people
Use synonyms
 were
hostage
Fix the agreement mistake
hostages
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the situation and they did everything by ignoring workers’ rights.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
 a result, Egyptians constructed many pyramids and famous buildings that
people
Use synonyms
 from every country know about it. Egypt saved
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 pyramids and their history with the help of pharaohs.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand,
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 consists
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
lot of workers,
thus
Linking Words
, it must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
keep
democracy
Correct article usage
the democracy
show examples
 and moral principles of modern society. It means that
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 can be the one part of
people
Use synonyms
 who make a decision and
this
Linking Words
 process can affect positively
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
company
Use synonyms
 of newspaper which is called “Shyndyk” and it was
this
Linking Words
 firm that took a strong place in the top 1 in the official rating of Kazakhstan specialists. All achievements are thanks to the democratic system in the
company
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a crucial role in choices,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
including all partners makes the
company
Use synonyms
 more successful in all areas.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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