IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In  some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying both in and after school, and have less free time. Do you think it has the positive or negative effects on children and society

#countries #parents #children #time #school #effects #society
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People could wish to acquire massive
knowledge
Use synonyms
 through
studies
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.
Therefore
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,a fair amount of parents have been predicting students should continue their
studies
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 after school period and utilize less
time
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 for doing
otherthinks
Correct your spelling
other things
other thinks
.In my opinion,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 situation has many advantages than disadvantages. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will explain both merits and demerits to prove my
perspection
Correct your spelling
perspective
 .
First
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 and foremost, education is enhancing the
knowledge
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 of the child which help them to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 bright future.Nowadays to find
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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employment opportunities are quite difficult so many competitions are in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 sector.
Therefore
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 it's mandatory to immense academic
knowledge
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. For evidence, while conducting interviews employers are prefer to choose the candidate who has diverse
knowledge
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. If they stop their
studies
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 there is a chance to forget the mandatory aspects.
Moreover
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,technologies
has
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have
show examples
 been flourishing day by day so everyone has to force learn newly ideas
everyday
Correct your spelling
every day
show examples
. For illustrate, in recent days changes are usual for many advanced applications are easily accessible now so we forced to
learn
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tolearn
show examples
 vide
verity
Correct your spelling
variety
show examples
 of
knowledge
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
However
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,
studies
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 are just part of life, when we spend
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of the
time
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 for learning which
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 our precious
time
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 and individual would
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 the opportunities for entertainments and other activities.people have to experience every
kinds
Change to a singular noun
kind
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 of things in their life so both
studies
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 and happiness is equally important in life.
Additionally
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,continuous
studies
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increas
Correct your spelling
increase
 the mental stress in humans.To prove that,one experiment was conducted in one of the western countries showed students who give preference to
studies
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 rather than any other activities have physically not capable.Either
Correct pronoun usage
they loose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 marks in examinations or they are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 recent
knowledge
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 they become more conscious. To conclude,
studies
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 have a significant role to mould people
knowledge
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however
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 children should not
forced
Change the verb form
be forced
show examples
 by parents to spend every moment for
studies
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.learning innovative aspects are essential while
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 should find some
time
Use synonyms
 for other activities
also
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.
Submitted by Shalushiva6582 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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