Public celebrations (national days, festivals) are held in many countries. Some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are tremendously controversial notions heating a debate over the necessity of social conventions. While some
people
side with the fact that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a wide range of more vital things that should be allocated the money on
instead
of traditional events or celebrations, others hold a
contradict
Change the form of the verb
contradicting
show examples
point of view. In my very belief,
although
everything has its own undeniable pros and cons and
this
is not an exception, its redeeming features still outweigh its counterparts. Without a shadow of a doubt, celebrating cultural festivals can be immensely beneficial for the nation’s economic background. In
this
monotonous modern society, those constitutions add weight to the charming of the region, making it far more vibrant in comparison than others. By doing so, the country can introduce itself to the whole world with more ease, making it an intrigued destination for travellers from all over the world who crave for having opportunities to touch all the exoticness. Obviously, more annual tourists
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
more service-related job opportunities for indigenous
people
and more chances for the nation to prosper its economy. While the mentioned merit is widely acknowledged, its so-called drawback still lingers. It is undeniable to note that some
people
are taking these valuable folks for granted by deceiving naive
people
in order to get financial profits. For a valid example, during the Tet holidays in Vietnam,
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
sellers have a tendency to exaggerate their merchandise’s price to be criminally expensive for its real quality.
Thus
, it leads to a substantial amount of money being wasted while
people
have a great deal of more crucial things to pay for.
Besides
, it
also
againsts
Correct your spelling
against
the rights of customers, causing unease issues for the government to eradicate. In conclusion, despite the desirable impact of tradition-related occasions or national days regarding the development of the community, its detrimental one is still inevitable.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: