Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As
Change preposition
With
show examples
the upliftment of medical science, the life span of humans is prolonged when compared with the past decades. While some claim that
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
has more pitfalls than merits, some believe that they can obtain a high standard of living in their twilight lives. With the deterioration of the body system and quick change of
society
, demerits outweigh benefits in longer life expectancy
First
of all, there is no doubt that the stability of the
society
brings a sense of security to the elderly in terms of financial subsidies. In order to reward the hardworkingness of the seniors in the golden ages, many countries provide pensions to them. Taking Canada as an example, it has a comprehensive social benefit network that citizens have no worries about their future
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since dwellers can have a monthly allowance after a certain age.
However
, with the inflation of daily necessities and the needs of recreation activities, can the seniors live without financial pressure? Chronic diseases
such
as hypertension, diabetics and respiratory illness are common in mature adults. Recently, the medical sector consumes the most in expenditures not only for personal but
also
for the whole
society
; medical expenses have a tremendously surge every year. To exemplify,
although
Hong Konger can enjoy
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
affordable medical treatment in a public hospital, the locals would choose a private hospital
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
has speedy service and a wider spectrum of physicians but
expensive
Add a missing verb
is expensive
show examples
. It is difficult for the aged population to sustain their lives even if pensions are provided.
Furthermore
,
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
the innovation of artificial intelligence,
society
becomes more digitized, which widens the gap between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older people and other generations. To
further
elaborate, still over 70% of people who aged above 70 in Hong Kong fail to use telecommunication apps
such
as Whatsapp while it is one of the most common communication tools
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
the world.
For those
Change preposition
Those
show examples
who are reluctant to new technology, they would find mass barriers when living in a modern city. To conclude, even the flourishing of
society
brings merits to the seniors, the financial burden and fast-paced life would limit
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lives
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. If the older people cannot fully immerse themselves in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
, it would be a drawback for them to become
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
.
Submitted by demeterchoi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fertility
  • Maternal health
  • Psychological stability
  • Social maturity
  • Economic benefits
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Ancestral customs
  • Cultural imperatives
  • Personal development
  • Career establishment
  • Societal norms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Divorce rates
  • Life decisions
  • Subjective wellbeing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: