Today, more and more full time university students focus on other activities rather than spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#time #university #students #focus #activities #people

In recent times, most of the pupils are concentrating on extracurricular activities rather than their studies. Some people consider that it is suitable for developing their personality others think the opposite. I completely agree with that point of view that extracurricular activities may build their carrier. In the following paragraph, I will explain how other movements may help the

students

become more effective.

First

of all, spending all

time

with books can lead to many health problems.

For example

, it can be stressful, which results in depression and, in the worst-case scenario, suicide. It has become so boring to read all

time

with books.

Furthermore

students

spend more

time

on books; they are not active and living a sedentary lifestyle.

As a result

, they are at risk of being overweight. All these effects could in long term psychological problems and

also

put

students

under pressure while studying.

On the other hand

, in modern times, people are getting advanced with the advancement of the science of technology. They can not focus only on their course topic, but they should

also

learn other lessons.

For instance

, nowadays, numerous

students

learn some computer applications like Python, Java, Adobe photo editing, whatever their university course is. It helps their part-

time

earning, and they

also

assist their family.

Furthermore

, certain activities might allow

students

to build connections to society, making them more responsible.

For example

, voluntary works in red cross or scout can develop a person’s responsibility. By doing

this

, scholars could gain motivation for their studies and better use their

time

helping people. In conclusion, it is easily said that bookish is not the only path for build up a nation. Extracurricular works may help the

students

become more responsible and influential in society, resulting in decreases in crime rates.

Submitted by d.meshbah on Fri Sep 17 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, more and more full time university students focus on other activities rather than spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

it is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Some believe that charitable organisations should help people no matter where they live. Others argue that charities should only help those living in the country where the charity is based. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

Individuals reside in a culture of use-and-throw, utilising things briefly and then disposing of them. This essay will explore what are the causes of this practice and what issues it leads to.