Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #non-exam #subjects #music #drama #art #craft #curriculum #activities #performance

Human

Fix the agreement mistake

Humans

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have

inseparable

Add an article

an inseparable

show examples

bond with arts-based activities other than that of academics

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

centuries. Some academicians opine that including arts-based subjects in

curriculum

Correct article usage

the curriculum

show examples

enhances the overall performance of the student. In my perspective, I completely agree with the statement and discuss the reasons for the same.

To begin

, art forms act as a perfect tool to exhibit the cultural values of each clan or society. So, learning music, art and drama

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are

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equal to understanding the traditional history of the nation.

Thus

, if

this

is a part of

syllabus

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the syllabus

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, the pupil can easily

knows

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know

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the evolution of traditional values that he or she belongs to.

For instance

, recently a survey conducted by the cultural department of

United

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the United

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Nations proved that more than 42 per cent of the

students

are willing to pursue their career in

arts

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the arts

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sector and only less than 20 per cent of the

students

like to choose

academic

Correct article usage

the academic

show examples

arena.

Additionally

, performance acts can act as a stress reliever. It can refresh

minds

Correct article usage

the minds

show examples

students

after continuous studies and classes. To be clear, the brain cells get recharged when children sing songs or acting a character they like.

However

this

will enhance the overall academic and cognitive development of the child.

For example

, in

China

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,China

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the Government made

compulsory

Correct pronoun usage

it compulsory

show examples

to study any of the performance-based activities

such

as instrumental music or acting.

This

steeply improved the academic grade and

hence

able to build citizens with

healthy

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a healthy

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mind

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minds

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and fresh ideas. To sum up, today's children are tomorrow's citizens. So, it is the responsibility of authorities to take care of the mental development of

students

Thus

, it is better to include non-academic subjects as a part of the syllabus.

Submitted by Anju on Sat Sep 18 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people aim to achieve balance between work and life, but only a few people achieve it. What problems will be caused by poor work-life balance? How can its negative impacts be prevented?

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. In the letter, you should: • Where you stayed • What the problems were • How they can fix your complaints

it is argues that mobile phones/gadgets have no space in classrooms. agree or disagree?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?