IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today with
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 advent
many
Change preposition
of many
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and most
people
Use synonyms
 using in all ages, and it
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
became
show examples
 an integral part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 most
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
. With these developments in social communication, some issues and problems have emerged.
although
Linking Words
 the negatives
associated
Add a missing verb
are associated
show examples
 with social
media
Use synonyms
, I think that
Use synonyms
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 outweigh the disadvantages. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
Use synonyms
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 of
exist
Change the form of the verb
existing
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 era and put forth my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many negative influences from social
media
Use synonyms
 networks, one of the main problems is
Correct article usage
the spreads
show examples
spreads
Fix the agreement mistake
spread
show examples
 of disinformation that will
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 numerous wrong decisions and do bad
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
 is proper of
rumors
Change the spelling
rumours
show examples
 spread,
this
Linking Words
 is due to the lack of censorship of content since
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 publish are just normal
people
Use synonyms
 without any official entity.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is hard to ignore
Use synonyms
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 that comes with social
media
Use synonyms
,
firstly
Linking Words
, by
follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-known
people
Use synonyms
 like doctors or researchers they can notify us with new information as well as it enables us to be asked them about anything related to their work even personal advice for free in a few minutes and the take
advantages
Use synonyms
 from their responds them on other questions. In conclusion, my point of view,
although
Linking Words
 the negatives associated with social
media
Use synonyms
 and the numerous of
people
Use synonyms
 use it day after day will shape our future and our
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way of communicating and learning because social
media
Use synonyms
 offers to us a
Correct your spelling
wide range
show examples
wide-range
Correct your spelling
wide range
show examples
 of ways to learn from experts which contributes that to share the knowledge over the world.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Global communication
  • Instantaneous communication
  • Personal growth
  • Career advancement
  • Privacy concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Misinformation
  • Crisis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: