People aim to achieve balance between their work and lives. But few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problems? How to over come it?

The issue of
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced

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diet and pleasant
work
culture due to
unhealthy
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an unhealthy

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lifestyle is popular nowadays, many folks target to find balance with personal and professional lifestyles and only
few
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a few

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succeed in getting balanced
life
. in
below
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the below

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paragraph
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,paragraph

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we will discuss what are the causes of
problem
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the problem
a problem

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and how to overcome
such
problems In the era of modern development and
technology
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,technology

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the lifestyle of
people
has become very difficult as there are less physical activities involved
for instance
most of the
people
do there
work
sitting at
office
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the office

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due to which they have less physical activity involved
as a
result
they pay less attention to
health
due to which they suffer
with
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from

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various illness.
secondly
, due to heavy workload and high target culture in
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the office
an office

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office
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,office

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most of the
people
have given less time to their family because of which the personal
relation
Replace the word
relationships

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are
Change the verb form
is

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not maintained.
for example
and if
an
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apply

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some person works more but pays less attention to
family
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the family
a family

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the
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apply

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it can
result
in creating
disturbance
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a disturbance

The noun phrase disturbance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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in their
life
.
thirdly
, folks should avoid unhealthy
dieat
Correct your spelling
diet

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and junk food which is easily
avilable
Correct your spelling
available

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due to which
an
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a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word personal.

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personal
Replace the word
person

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cannot have good
health
which can
result
is
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in

The word is doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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better performance in
work
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the work
a work

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environment, most of the
people
eat food
avilable
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available

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on
street
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the street
a street

The noun phrase street seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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which is not much expensive and
also
not better for good
heath
Correct your spelling
health

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Add the comma(s)
, as a result,

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as a
result
they may
hve
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have

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health related
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health-related

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issues . professional
life
should have some breaks as
this
could help an individual to overcome stress
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, for example,

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for example
one should unplug himself from
work
stressed
life
and give some space for
socail
Correct your spelling
social

The word socail is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

life
this
can reduce
work
pressue
Correct your spelling
pressure

The word pressue is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and depression related to
work
Add a hyphen
work-life

It appears that work life is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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life
as
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun health in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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result
health
of that person can be improvised .
on
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In

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Add an article
the conclusion

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conclusion
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,conclusion

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I feel one
shold
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should

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pay equal
attentation
Correct your spelling
attention

The word attentation is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

to
work
and personal
life
as both are important for
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word person.

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person.
Submitted by ajinkya.sarnaik on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

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