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Writing Samples
Band 4

People aim to achieve balance between their work and lives. But few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problems? How to over come it?

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
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The issue of
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 diet and pleasant
work
Use synonyms
 culture due to
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
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 lifestyle is popular nowadays, many folks target to find balance with personal and professional lifestyles and only
few
Change the article
a few
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 succeed in getting balanced
life
Use synonyms
 . in
below
Correct article usage
the below
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paragraph
Add a comma
,paragraph
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 we will discuss what are the causes of
problem
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the problem
a problem
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 and how to overcome
such
Linking Words
 problems In the era of modern development and
technology
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,technology
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 the lifestyle of
people
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 has become very difficult as there are less physical activities involved
for instance
Linking Words
 most of the
people
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 do there
work
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 sitting at
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
 due to which they have less physical activity involved
as a
Linking Words
result
Use synonyms
 they pay less attention to
health
Use synonyms
 due to which they suffer
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
 various illness.
secondly
Linking Words
, due to heavy workload and high target culture in
Add an article
the office
an office
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office
Add a comma
,office
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 most of the
people
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 have given less time to their family because of which the personal
relation
Replace the word
relationships
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not maintained.
for example
Linking Words
 and if
an
Remove the article
apply
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some person works more but pays less attention to
family
Add an article
the family
a family
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the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
it can
result
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 in creating
disturbance
Add an article
a disturbance
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 in their
life
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 .
thirdly
Linking Words
, folks should avoid unhealthy
dieat
Correct your spelling
diet
 and junk food which is easily
avilable
Correct your spelling
available
 due to which
an
Change the article
a
show examples
personal
Replace the word
person
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 cannot have good
health
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 which can
result
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 better performance in
Use synonyms
work
Add an article
the work
a work
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 environment, most of the
people
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 eat food
avilable
Correct your spelling
available
 on
street
Add an article
the street
a street
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 which is not much expensive and
also
Linking Words
 not better for good
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a
Linking Words
result
Use synonyms
 they may
hve
Correct your spelling
have
Use synonyms
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 issues . professional
life
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 should have some breaks as
this
Linking Words
 could help an individual to overcome stress
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 one should unplug himself from
work
Use synonyms
 stressed
life
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 and give some space for
socail
Correct your spelling
social
life
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this
Linking Words
 can reduce
work
Use synonyms
pressue
Correct your spelling
pressure
 and depression related to
Use synonyms
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
as
Linking Words
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
result
Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
 of that person can be improvised .
on
Change preposition
In
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Add an article
the conclusion
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conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
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 I feel one
shold
Correct your spelling
should
 pay equal
attentation
Correct your spelling
attention
 to
work
Use synonyms
 and personal
life
Use synonyms
 as both are important for
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 person.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance: the equilibrium between one's job responsibilities and personal life.
  • Overwork: working too hard or for excessive amounts of time.
  • Remote work: working from a location other than the central work office, often from home.
  • Flexible working hours: work hours that are adaptable to suit an employee's needs.
  • Commuting: traveling between one's home and workplace.
  • Digital technology: electronic tools and systems used to generate, store, and process data, often leading to increased connectivity.
  • Disconnect: to detach from technology or work communications, often to establish boundaries.
  • Time management: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • Prioritize: to determine the order for dealing with tasks according to their importance.
  • Employer support: programs or practices employed by an organization to assist employees in managing work and personal roles.
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