IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. To what extent do you agree with the suggestion?

#space #exploration #money #suggestion
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Space
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exploration
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 is considered to cost too much and the
money
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 could be spent on more essential things. I strongly agree with that opinion because we have more important
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earth based
Add a hyphen
earth-based
show examples
 problems
such
Linking Words
 as hunger and
space
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exploration
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 harms
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Initially
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, humanity does not need
space
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exploration
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 that much as some
people
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 on the
Earth
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 need food and water. According to BBC News, NASA spends nearly 3 billion dollars per year
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just keeping rockets, while there are 2 billion
people
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 who are starving.
Besides
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, the cost of worldwide hunger is 36 million dollars, which is
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 of the amount of
money
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 only NASA spends on
space
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exploration
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. One year of care after rockets could give
people
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sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
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 amount of food for four years. It makes us question ourselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if we really need
space
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exploration
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 or alive
people
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. Despite costing too much
money
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,
space
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exploration
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also
Linking Words
 costs our
environment
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 and health. It appears that only one part of
rocket
Correct article usage
the rocket
show examples
 actually travels to
space
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, while other parts just fall down to the
Earth
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. These parts may contain harmful elements that destroy
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environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 around, including plants and animals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 spoils the water and the
Earth
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 itself. It may hurt
people
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 living near
such
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 places who consume
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 water and animals.
For example
Linking Words
, civilians of Karmakshy
that is
Linking Words
 located near the Baikonur spaceport often suffer from several diseases and have weak immune
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 due to cosmodrome.
Thus
Linking Words
,
space
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exploration
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 may occur harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and its
livehoods
Correct your spelling
livelihoods
. To conclude, the huge amount of
money
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 spent on
space
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exploration
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 could be spent on more significant things
such
Linking Words
 as starvation all over the world.
Besides
Linking Words
,
space
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exploration
Use synonyms
 has
Add an article
a drawback
show examples
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 in the face of
destroyed
Correct article usage
a destroyed
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • astronomical costs
  • pressing global issues
  • diverts crucial resources
  • technological advancements
  • wide-ranging applications
  • investments in the future
  • existential threats
  • fuels curiosity
  • drives innovation
  • economic benefits
What to do next:
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