IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Alot
Correct your spelling
A lot
 of people really
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that completing a
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 is the best way to find a
job
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,
this
Linking Words
 can be both true and false. Having a
university
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education
Use synonyms
 really brings an edge for an applicant, but having a related
skill
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will
Verb problem
apply
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can
also
Linking Words
 increase the odds of getting the
job
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. Completing a
university
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education
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 not only
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 you with a great resume but
also
Linking Words
 shows commitment
, it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
 shows that a
person
Use synonyms
 acquired a good knowledge about
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 subject by listening to their professors or by reading
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a book,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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also
Linking Words
 shows that they can endure long lessons and sleepless nights to take time to review for a test.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 mean that a
person
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 can follow assignments and perform
task
Check wording
tasks
show examples
 in a timely manner.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 are very pleasing for employers, since these are the common
quality
Fix the agreement mistake
qualities
show examples
 for an ideal employee. Developing soft
skills
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 important
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
when looking for a
job
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. Having a
skill
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 related
on
Change preposition
to
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 a
job
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 that you are applying
will
Change preposition
for will
show examples
 most likely make you a suitable candidate for the position,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can benefit the employer since they'll spend less time
to train
Wrong verb form
training
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 you.
Practicing
Change the spelling
Practising
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 the
skill
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 you enjoy and using it on a
job
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 will most-likely result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a motivated employee, which can
also
Linking Words
 boost their productivity.
Alot
Correct your spelling
A lot
 of employers are looking for a candidate
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 already
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 the
skill
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 rather than
education
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, because not only
it will
Correct word order
will it
show examples
 lessen the training time
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 a skilled employee can
also
Linking Words
 provide insights on how to improve a process since they are already
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 the
skill
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. In conclusion, completing a
university
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education
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 and developing soft
skills
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 are still important for certain businesses
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some would prefer to hire a
person
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 with a diploma
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
some
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 will prefer to hire a skilled
person
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. These most likely will depend on the
person
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 since some unfortunate people can't even afford
education
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so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they choose to develop a
skill
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 and look for
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 related to their
skill
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,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 really excelled well in school and will be offered to work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a wonderful company. Having both
diploma
Correct article usage
a diploma
show examples
 and
skills
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 will help you stand out from applicants.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but your own view is only very short.
task response
Add one clear opinion sentence in the introduction and support it again in the conclusion.
task response
Use one or two real and clear examples for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, reason, example, result.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are linked, but many sentences are long and hard to follow. Use shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like 'first', 'also', 'for example', 'however', and 'therefore'.
task response
You discuss both views, so you answer the main task.
task response
Your conclusion is clear and it gives a final thought.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas stay on the topic of jobs, study, and skills.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
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