IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
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The pie chart presented the information of average household expenditure in each of
categories
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the categories
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 between 1950 and 2010. In the overview, it can be seen that both years have
different
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the different
a different
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 highest expenditure of category. In 1950 the majority came from housing that
have
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has
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 been occupied by 72.1
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percent
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per cent
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 and the rest have 11.2
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percent
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per cent
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, 6.6
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percent
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per cent
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, 4.4
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percent
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per cent
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, 3.3
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percent
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per cent
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 and 2.4% (food, education, other, transportation and health care, respectively). While in 2010 the majority came from food which is occupied by 34
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percent
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per cent
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 while the other expenditures have some significant and slightly risen
such
Linking Words
 as other, Transportation, Education, and Health care have 19.2
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percent
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per cent
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, 14
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percent
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per cent
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, 6.3
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percent
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per cent
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, and 4.5
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percent
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per cent
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 respectively. While housing is the only expenditure that have been drop more than halved of
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1950. In summary, it can be observed that in
past
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the past
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 60 years, there are a lot of
change
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changes
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 in different categories especially in housing which is drop more than halved of itself in 1950 compared to 2010.
Submitted by pondssp on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
What to do next:
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