Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Other believe that there are health benefits to living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most people prefer to move to their hometown after retirement, in the reason of a claim that living in a rural area provides a healthier living condition, while a contrary view is there are the same advantages of
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
in urban. I strong believe citizens will be
also
healthy as rural dwellers if they control their food and do exercise. One of the benefits of living in the countryside is
natural
Add an article
the natural
show examples
environment which consists of
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
show examples
atmosphere. There are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
constructions, factories and vehicles which provide greenhouse gas emissions,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
air pollution is a major concern in the cities.
This
may have adverse
health
effects especially impacting on
Add an article
the lung
show examples
lung
Fix the agreement mistake
lungs
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
the reason of
this
, everyone usually has a trip with family or friends during
holiday
Add an article
a holiday
the holiday
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
natural tourist places
such
as sea, mountain and
water fall
Correct your spelling
waterfall
show examples
, that they can refresh and breathe in more oxygen.
On the other hand
,
breath
Add an article
a breath
the breath
show examples
of fresh air alone does not improve our
health
, individuals should exercise daily. According amenities in cities
such
as fitness
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
are
assessible
Correct your spelling
accessible
assessable
, urban dwellers can work out at the gym which has a lot of convenient equipment and
profession
Replace the word
professional
show examples
trainers.
Besides
that, there are many parks in Phnom Penh city, which elders have been jogging, bicycling and dancing as a group in the early morning and evening. In conclusion, even though living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
provide a clean air environment which may lead to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
, in my opinion, citizens can maintain their
health
by regular exercise which is easy to assess in the urban.
Submitted by sokuntheary94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: