Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Other thinks that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

Many individuals argue that those who have

contribute

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contributed

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significantly to society

such

as teachers or scientists are much success as compared to

affluent

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the affluent

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. In my opinion, those who try their better for doing something beneficial for society

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apply

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can be considered actual successful because they are

selifshless

Correct your spelling

selfless

selfishness

One

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show examples

the one hand, there are several reasons behind the former

believe

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belief

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First

and foremost, wealth

allow

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allows

show examples

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apply

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individuals to enjoy their life to the fullest because wealthy people can afford each and every

possessions

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possession

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which can make their life easy and help to show their status.

Secondly

, due to

materialistic

Correct article usage

the materialistic

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era, every person

need

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needs

show examples

money

for

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apply

show examples

derive

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deriving

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their desires . So, those

Correct pronoun usage

who has

show examples

has

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have

show examples

money

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

fulfill

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fulfil

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their dreams

little

Correct article usage

a little

show examples

bit easy as

compare

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compared

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to those who are suffering

with

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from

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financial obstacles. On the flip side, no one can afford to satisfaction

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with

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money

However

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

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use their time and knowledge for

development

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the development

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world

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the world

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, they

has

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have

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great peace of mind as well as actual happiness because they do all

efforts

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their efforts

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for humanity. Neatly, all rich people do not earn

money

by legal ways despite,

some time

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sometimes

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they commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

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for

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show examples

get

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getting

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more bank balances. Ultimately, wealth can not define

actual

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the actual

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success of anybody.

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sum up, not only successful is based on

money

, but

also

to be a successful need to

loyality

Correct your spelling

loyalty

and peace of mind

Submitted by grewalsandeepkaur606 on Wed Sep 22 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Other thinks that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.