Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Other thinks that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many individuals argue that those who have
contribute
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contributed
show examples
significantly to society
such
as teachers or scientists are much success as compared to
affluent
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the affluent
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. In my opinion, those who try their better for doing something beneficial for society
,
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apply
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can be considered actual successful because they are
selifshless
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selfless
selfishness
.
One
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On
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the one hand, there are several reasons behind the former
believe
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belief
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.
First
and foremost, wealth
allow
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allows
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to
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apply
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individuals to enjoy their life to the fullest because wealthy people can afford each and every
possessions
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possession
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which can make their life easy and help to show their status.
Secondly
, due to
materialistic
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the materialistic
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era, every person
need
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needs
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to
money
for
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apply
show examples
derive
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deriving
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their desires . So, those
Correct pronoun usage
who has
show examples
has
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have
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money
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
their dreams
little
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a little
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bit easy as
compare
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compared
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to those who are suffering
with
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from
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financial obstacles. On the flip side, no one can afford to satisfaction
by
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with
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money
.
However
,
who
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those who
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use their time and knowledge for
development
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the development
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of
world
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the world
show examples
, they
has
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have
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great peace of mind as well as actual happiness because they do all
efforts
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their efforts
show examples
for humanity. Neatly, all rich people do not earn
money
by legal ways despite,
some time
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sometimes
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they commit
crime
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crimes
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for
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to
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get
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getting
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more bank balances. Ultimately, wealth can not define
actual
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the actual
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success of anybody.
In
Change preposition
To
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sum up, not only successful is based on
money
, but
also
to be a successful need to
loyality
Correct your spelling
loyalty
and peace of mind
Submitted by grewalsandeepkaur606 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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