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Band 5

Some people think younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #positions #government #idea
People have different views about whether younger generations are more competent for crucial jobs in
government
. As far as I am concerned, I am inclined towards the belief that their participation in these positions is necessary. The opinion that prefers the elderly to fill the positions is supported by the following reason. Compared to younger people, elder public officers usually mean more experience and higher management ability in
political
Add an article
the political
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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. Some of the policies published by the
government
 are closely related to citizen’s
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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 and are aimed at their well-being, and others are of great
significant
Replace the word
significance
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 to the development of the whole nation.
As a result
, the participation of experienced senior workers in
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
 key position is required, who serve as the guarantee for the formation and implementation of these beneficial decisions.
On the other hand
, I believe that having more youths working in key political positions is more beneficial.
Firstly
, youth’s join allows decisions to be made with the perspectives of various age groups, which leads to a wider range of ideas and solutions. Without them, concerns from their generation are easily neglected by the current politicians, which narrow the source of more targeted solutions to their problems.
Moreover
, younger groups are full of creativity and bring vitality to political departments. They are more open to new ideas and their ways of thinking
is
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are
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 not confined to tradition and convention.
Therefore
, they are more suitable
working
Change preposition
for working
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 in key areas in
government
such
 as
department
Add an article
the department
a department
show examples
 of culture and tourism, or
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
 bureau. In conclusion, while the older generation is equipped with more experience under some conditions, I
still
Add a missing verb
am still
show examples
 in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of youngster’s participation in critical fields in
government
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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