IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #non-exam #subjects #music #drama #art #craft #secondary-school #curriculum #activities #performance
Some educators claim that artistic disciplines might be a requirement in high
school
 because
this
 knowledge will improve
students
 to achieve academic success. I wholeheartedly agree that creativity subjects should be included and
this
 essay will explain the reasons why these
classes
 could make difference in
students
' grades.
Firstly
, art discipline could help the schoolers to better express themselves. Many
students
 are sometimes thought to be shy to speak in public, and there are several
classes
 where learners need to present their work in front of others. Taking theatre
classes
,
students
 could learn how to feel confident, improve their body language, and speak clear and audible.
Therefore
, the student’s grades will overall increase, even in the traditional
classes
.
Secondly
, art increases creativity and imagination because it requires different parts of the brain to work, which is referred to as
illogical
Correct article usage
the illogical
show examples
 brain. Some topics in
school
 are extremely abstract,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 microbiology, chemistry and physics.
Therefore
, individuals who have the ability to imagine these abstract concepts certainly will perform better in
school
.
Finally
, non-exam
classes
 are
also
 a great opportunity for teenagers to develop their social skills and destress. Actually, pupils deal with many types of stress in high
school
: how to find friends, how they look, and if they will be accepted by their classmates. So, art-based courses could
also
 help them boost their confidence, relax and find new passions. To conclude, some people believe there are more benefits to
adopt
Change the verb form
adopting
show examples
 these creative
classes
 as compulsory than keep them out of
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
show examples
. The pros are undeniable for
students
 and for the
school
.
Submitted by lele on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: