Many people believe that playing video games is a waste of time and can even have a negative effect on the health of players. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #video #games #waste #time #effect #health #players

Soem

Correct your spelling

Some

people

hold the

believe

Replace the word

belief

show examples

that electronic

games

wastage

Correct article usage

a wastage

show examples

time

and

also

have

a side effects

Correct the article-noun agreement

side effects

a side effect

show examples

on the health of participants. I entirely agree with

this

view , because it

distract

Change the verb form

distracts

show examples

the person from their study and

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

eye sight

Correct your spelling

eyesight

show examples

. I will discuss my

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

view points

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

upcoming

Correct article usage

the upcoming

show examples

paragraphs.

To begin

with, playing video

games

is very

time

consuming because it does not teach anything, even takes

time

away from study and other important works . They can

also

utilize

this

time

in study and in making future.

Also

, when

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

get addicted to these

games

, they may distract from their task and

Sometime

Replace the word

Sometimes

show examples

loss in

financial

Replace the word

finances

show examples

, because many

people

pay for it.

For instance

, the Theme

time

, 80%

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

are paying more attention to

games

instead

of their career.

Furthermore

, computer

games

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

physical as well as mental health. It

effects

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

on eyes , long

time

concentrate

Fix the infinitive

to concentrate

show examples

on it leads to

weeken

Correct your spelling

weaken

the eyes and

also

watery eyes and due to long sitting on

games

person becomes overweight because they avoid outdoor activities. To justify it , a survey was conducted in Norway, it is seen that 50%

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

facing

Add an article

the problem

a problem

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

cataract

Fix the agreement mistake

cataracts

show examples

and obesity due to spending long on these

games

In addition

this

people

avoid spending

time

with their friends , because they are more enjoying

games

. To conclude, video

games

influencing

overall

Add an article

the overall

show examples

health of

people

such

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

effects on vision and getting weight day by day which leads to

further

disease.

Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on Thu Sep 23 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

tangible outcomes
excessive screen time
eye strain
poor posture
repetitive strain injuries
prolonged exposure
violent or addictive video games
increased aggression
social withdrawal
hand-eye coordination
strategic thinking
problem-solving skills
social interaction
sense of community
multiplayer games
emotional well-being
stress relief
mental relaxation
unwind
escape from daily pressures

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Many people believe that playing video games is a waste of time and can even have a negative effect on the health of players. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities

Compared to the past, more people are now studying abroad because it is more convenient and cheaper than before. Do you think this is beneficial to the foreign student's home country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

The increase in production and consumption of meat has resulted in the destruction of the natural environment. What is the cause?What can be done to solve the problem?

Some governments provide financial assistance for retired, unemployed and disabled citizens. In other countries, families provide support for these people. Discuss both systems and give your opinion about which one you think is better.