Many people believe that playing video games is a waste of time and can even have a negative effect on the health of players. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Soem
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Some
people
hold the
believe
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belief
show examples
that electronic
games
is
wastage
Correct article usage
a wastage
show examples
of
time
and
also
have
a side effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
side effects
a side effect
show examples
on the health of participants. I entirely agree with
this
view , because it
distract
Change the verb form
distracts
show examples
the person from their study and
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
. I will discuss my
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
paragraphs.
To begin
with, playing video
games
is very
time
consuming because it does not teach anything, even takes
time
away from study and other important works . They can
also
utilize
this
time
in study and in making future.
Also
, when
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
get addicted to these
games
, they may distract from their task and
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
loss in
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
, because many
people
pay for it.
For instance
, the Theme
time
, 80%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
are paying more attention to
games
,
instead
of their career.
Furthermore
, computer
games
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
physical as well as mental health. It
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
on eyes , long
time
concentrate
Fix the infinitive
to concentrate
show examples
on it leads to
weeken
Correct your spelling
weaken
the eyes and
also
watery eyes and due to long sitting on
games
person becomes overweight because they avoid outdoor activities. To justify it , a survey was conducted in Norway, it is seen that 50%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
facing
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
of
cataract
Fix the agreement mistake
cataracts
show examples
and obesity due to spending long on these
games
.
In addition
to
this
,
people
avoid spending
time
with their friends , because they are more enjoying
games
. To conclude, video
games
influencing
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
health of
people
such
as
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
effects on vision and getting weight day by day which leads to
further
disease.
Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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