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Band 5.5

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are good at or find the most interesting. Discuss both sides and give more options.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus #options
Community growth depends on how their
people
 are active in their flock. I agree that teenagers should be to do work for their flock without any paid.
Firstly
, Community is a way where you can find different types of
people
. Different
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 distinct personalities and knowledge, and teenage is when
a men
Correct the article-noun agreement
a man
men
show examples
 can improve personality and expertise by meeting some leaders and other
people
.
For example
, Diljit Singh was a famous singer at an early age, and He didn’t need to work for anything. He is still working for his flock for free by inspiring many families and being taught how to keep feet to ground with money.
Secondly
, Life is about just learning, so working for society can increase their ability and actual value rather than money. Here they can
also
 improve their confidence as well as communication skills.
For example
, Today’s generation doesn’t know a way of talking to older
people
, and so for that, they are just hurting
people
. Community is an address where you can find a way of living for others. Sometimes we don’t know what
people
 need.
However
, here you can able to feel their feelings.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
 can make you zero to hero by teaching dharma and karma, and
also
 here, and you may be learning every type of works like how to do work in pressure because helps to
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 is a big thing. To conclude, Men can get a thousand times bigger value than money, so every parent should join their children in their society.
Submitted by vishva.sonani29 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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