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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people think that computer games are good for children's development other think it is bad discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #computer #games #children #development
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It is irrefutable that in
this
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 contemporary era
computer
Use synonyms
 gaming is
controversial
Add an article
a controversial
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 topic. Some individuals opine that
computer
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 gaming is good for
overall
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the overall
show examples
 growth of
children
Use synonyms
, whereas
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 deemed that it has
various
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a various
show examples
demerit
Fix the agreement mistake
demerits
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 that
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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on
Change preposition
apply
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them is
negatively
Replace the adverb
negative
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will intend to analyse both perspectives with credible
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
.
However
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, I side with
latter
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the latter
show examples
 view. To commence with, There are two main reasons why community believe in former view,
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first
Change the article
the first
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 nub is that due to
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
, Not only
children
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 can learn typing skill with enjoyment but
also
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 some intense situations in
games
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leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to
effect
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an effect
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 in positive ways
such
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 as focus, calmness and how to react in under pressure.
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Second
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The second
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 reason is that nowadays lots of
games
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 are multiple player
games
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 so that an
intrection
Correct your spelling
interaction
 with various
Correct your spelling
mindsets
show examples
mind sets
Correct your spelling
mindsets
show examples
 of people, as a repercussion, the maturity level increased via communication. To understand deeply, Some
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 have a role, so in that
role
Add a comma
,role
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player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 to deal with some events,
this
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 thing can boot of
children
Use synonyms
’s overall development. Altogether, these are some viable points which we can not keep away.
On the other hand
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, those, who
are opine
Change the verb form
opine
show examples
 that
computer
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 game is bad for
children
Use synonyms
, they
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 following reasons,
first
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 and foremost is addiction, To understand
this
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 matter deeply Due to
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 can not focus on academic, even though they spend time in limit because according to research, 85% of under 10 years
children
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 the neurology
is not fully develop
Change the verb form
is not fully developed
is not fully developing
show examples
 at that age, as a consequence, they can easily distract even a small amount of environment generate. Another point is that there are some
computer
Use synonyms
games
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 which can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to psychological impacts on
children
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such
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 as annoying, impatient and . so altogether these are some
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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 we can not ignore. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that,
Although
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computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a bit of role in
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
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 of
under age
Correct your spelling
underage
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, some serious impact which leads to far away of
those merit
Change the determiner
that merit
those merits
show examples
 and more negative impact generate, so I firmly disagree with
this
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 statement.
Submitted by rajnpatelb06 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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