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Band 5

Nowadays some people have anti-social behavior and lack respect to others. What are the reasons? What are the solutions?

#people #behavior #lack #respect
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It is believed that the vast majority of individuals, which are so tied up in the business needs, dodge social contacts with the rest of
people
Use synonyms
 and they tend to neglect others.
This
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 essay will analyze causes and possible solutions to them.
First
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 of all, we see that social media is so trendy and everybody would like to jump on the bandwagon, which causes
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 face-to-face conversations among
people
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is because denizens want to collect enough money for their life savings for different entertainment and the future of their kids.
For instance
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, 78% of individuals set aside their time for work purposes.
Consequently
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, they are inclined to avoid any offline conversations with their counterparts or relatives.The possible solution to
this
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 issue is that the government may build
shorter
Correct article usage
a shorter
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 business week,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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 set Friday as a 5-hour business day to have extra time to unwind and meet with their relatives and bosom friends.
Furthermore
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, we have another issue with the absence of respect
to
Change preposition
for
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 other individuals.
This
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 is because we do not have ethical subjects at educational departments, where students may gain and follow the rules to become well-behaved denizens,
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
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 we may have
this
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 detrimental impact with cherishing
people
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 and things surrounding us.
For instance
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, drivers tend to omit some rules and not to yield walkers on the roads.
Conversely
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,
people
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 can not be thankful and cherish others who do not yield to them on pedestrian roads or on pavements. With regard to
this
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 problem, the government should rectify school programs to introduce more ethical subjects starting from preteens to upbringing the new well-mannered generation. In conclusion, the populace has several communication issues and the lack of traits of well-behaved
people
Use synonyms
, where I have provided a few tips to overcome problems in the future. The government should support their citizens and involve some changes in the work schedule to solve it in the long run. (318 words)
Submitted by mila.kniaz on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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