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Band 4.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #lives #change
As it is said that
change
 is required to break the monotony and to give room for innovation and new ideas, there are some
people
 who are
risk takers
Add a hyphen
risk-takers
show examples
 while there are some who want to continue
this
 monotony and avoid changes. In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 completely agree with the view that
change
 is necessary and is always a good thing.
Firstly
,
people
 who do not want a
change
 in their lives are the ones who do not dare to take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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 as they are content and feel safe
of
Change preposition
about
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 what they are doing and eventually acclimatize to it and prefer doing the same thing.
On the other
hand
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,hand
show examples
people
 who are oriented towards
change
 are the ones who are
risk takers
Add a hyphen
risk-takers
show examples
 and are full of confidence as
this
 kind of attitude flares up innovation and new ideas. These
kind
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kinds
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 of
people
 are never content with what they have done, and they continuously try and innovate new ways of doing things in order to benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, for them the
change
 is like
an
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apply
show examples
oxygen which they live on.
For
instance
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,instance
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 if you look at the automobile industry since its advent and till now there are many industries
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are still are still manufacturing vehicles that
runs
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run
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 on fossil fuels , but the company Telsa Motors went a step ahead , and his CEO Elon Musk imagined out of the box and broke
this
 convention of vehicles powered by fossil fuels and brought in electric vehicles, his hanker to
change
 lead to a revolution in the automobile industry. To sum
up
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,up
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 in my opinion
change
 is necessary as it promotes innovation and new ideas that
benefits
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benefit
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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