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Band 4.5

1. In some countries around the world men and women are having babies late in life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #world #men #women #babies #life
In
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
 social century, many couples tend to give birth
lates
Correct your spelling
late
later
 and there has been a significant divergence of opinion revolving around
this
 trend. Some people believe that having babies late exact
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 impact on their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
’
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 babies will have a
marverllous
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marvellous
envirnoment
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environment
 to develop.
Howere
Correct your spelling
However
, others claim that giving
births
Fix the agreement mistake
birth
show examples
 late will expand the gap between
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 with their
parents
, and
parents
 may find it
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
 to talking, understand or sharing with their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
...
Accordingly
, I lean toward
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the idea that the merits of
this
 tendency exceed the drawbacks.
To begin
 with, there has been some drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 tendency for family. Giving birth late lead to it broaden the gap between
parents
 and their
child
. The
parents
 are highly likely to have more difficulties in understanding, communicating, with and educating their offspring.
Therefore
 the
child
 will feel isolated, alone and lead to many
diffirence
Correct your spelling
different
 seriously issues in the future.
This
 trend
also
pose
Change the verb form
poses
show examples
 a threat to women heath during
pregancy
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
 at old age and will
exerts
Change the verb form
exert
show examples
 unwelcomed health Issues.
Nevertheless
,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 people
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
concered
Correct your spelling
concerned
 about their goals,
carrer
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career
 development or living expenses than
number
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a number
the number
show examples
 of babies.
For
instance
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,instance
show examples
 if husband or wife remain employments and have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 uncertainly of the jobs , it will extremely to bring up a
child
 and the
child
 won’t have a good enough standard of living to grow up.It not only influence to
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 it
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a negative impact to
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
, because of
child
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 in a bad
envirnoment
Correct your spelling
environment
 they can be
invovle
Correct your spelling
involved
 in some society's vices like
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 drugs, criminal,…. Or it many
child
Change to a plural noun
children
show examples
 be abandoned because
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
financial’family
Correct your spelling
financial family
 and
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues lead to the overload of Orphanage.
Moreove
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, couples intend to
further
 continue their studies and achieve a point where they can actually stand on their own feet.
For example
,
parents
 who study in universities can not cope up with a
child
’s upbringing because it creates too much stress and responsibilities
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
,
although
 there are some positive aspects of having children late in life the negatives points outweigh the positives ones. It is a great idea to mutually decide and move a step ahead because it is a lifetime decision.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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