IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Scientists have been warning for many years already that in order to protect the environment people should use less energy. However, most people do not change their ways of living. What is causing this behaviour? How can people be encouraged to change?

#scientists #years #environment #people #energy #change #behaviour
Humans have known environmental problems which have increased throughout the period.
Although
 they realise
this
 concern, few
people
 are constantly living the same lifestyles. There are several reasons for
this
 behaviour why electricity is over-consuming. The causes and the solutions will be outlined in the following paragraphs.
People
 overuse
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity due to many reasons.
First
, they are obsessed with convenience and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapidity.
For example
, they always turn on the air conditioner all day with either hot or cold weather, using the microwave to
heat processed
Add a hyphen
heat-processed
show examples
 food
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 speed time up. Sometimes they do not bring a
canva
Correct your spelling
canvas
 bag to the supermarket because of their habit. Another reason, seeing
this
 problem as a tiny problem
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 they have never met the adverse effect to themselves. They have been living a normal situation while the animal habitats in the North Pole will be vanished by ice melting. Even though we cannot solve the whole challenge, we can find alternative solutions.
To begin
 with, companies have to create an obvious regulation
such
 as Top supermarket has a policy that
people
 need to bring their shopping bag,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 they need to pay extra costs.
In other words
, stores offer rewards to customers as shown by coffee brands Starbuck gives 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 discounts for customers who use their own container.
Secondly
, the government should make
people
 aware of the importance of conserving energy by dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non-profit organisation or celebrities to up-to-date
this
 concern. In conclusion, the obsession with comfort and not being aware of
this
 problem are the two reasons for
people
's actions.
Nevertheless
, the authorities and companies have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 capability to tackle
this
 concern by taking certain steps.
Submitted by nnnnink on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: