‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

Nowadays,there are many art subjects classes like painting,
music
and cinema.There are
to
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two
show examples
main visions
abput
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about
it,some people believe that art subject like playing an
instrument
is essential for students to learn,the priority of
this
talent is the same as other abilities like reading and writing.I moderately agree with
this
statement and
this
essay will discuss why playing an
instrument
is essential for all children. On one hand,playing an
instrument
expands children's
horizone
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horizons
horizon
.Briefly,while children do some practical activities like playing
piano
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the piano
show examples
,they
finding
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found
show examples
themselves and their interests,they can think
out-side
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outside
show examples
to box.Importantly,some kids
captivated
Add a missing verb
are captivated
show examples
by playing any
instrument
,so they start learning the specific
instrument
which they like the most.Hopefully, in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
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future
futur
Add a comma
,futur
show examples
they'll
skilled
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be skilled
skill
show examples
in their way and they'll
recieve
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receive
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
amount of money from their activity like many famous
musicans
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musicians
.
For example
,Bakh who was a famous
violonist
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violinist
wrote in his book that he started playing
violin
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the violin
show examples
from an early age,that time he
had'
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hadn't
had
t
enough money to
going
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go
show examples
to
music
class and he learnt from his
grandparet
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grandparents
grandparent
.He had many live concerts and became rich,
consequencly
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consequently
Bakh academy created by him when he was in his middle ages.
On the other hand
,it's undeniable that
wriding
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writing
riding
and writing are
importent
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important
for all pupils, actually without reading they can'
t
learn
music
and without writing ability they can'
t
write any lyrics.I believe that schools must
taken
Change the verb form
take
be taken
show examples
into consideration that put some
music
classes in student's
schule
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schedule
because sometimes
studdents
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students
feel bored and annoyed when only studying
theorical
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theoretical
subjects. To conclude,In my view-point,reading and writing are really important for students,
morever
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moreover
,
music
and playing an
instrument
is important too.According to what I said above,playing an
instrument
as a hobby is great and has many benefits but there isn'
t
more important than basic abilities like reading and writing.
Submitted by aminpost on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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