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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

#‘for #children #ability #instrument #’how #suggestion #child
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Nowadays,there are many art subjects classes like painting,
music
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 and cinema.There are
to
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two
show examples
 main visions
abput
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about
 it,some people believe that art subject like playing an
instrument
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 is essential for students to learn,the priority of
this
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 talent is the same as other abilities like reading and writing.I moderately agree with
this
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 statement and
this
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 essay will discuss why playing an
instrument
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 is essential for all children. On one hand,playing an
instrument
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 expands children's
horizone
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horizons
horizon
.Briefly,while children do some practical activities like playing
piano
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the piano
show examples
,they
finding
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found
show examples
 themselves and their interests,they can think
out-side
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outside
show examples
 to box.Importantly,some kids
captivated
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are captivated
show examples
 by playing any
instrument
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,so they start learning the specific
instrument
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 which they like the most.Hopefully, in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
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future
futur
Add a comma
,futur
show examples
 they'll
skilled
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be skilled
skill
show examples
 in their way and they'll
recieve
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receive
large
Add an article
a large
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 amount of money from their activity like many famous
musicans
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musicians
.
For example
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,Bakh who was a famous
violonist
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violinist
 wrote in his book that he started playing
violin
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the violin
show examples
 from an early age,that time he
had'
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hadn't
had
t
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 enough money to
going
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go
show examples
 to
music
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 class and he learnt from his
grandparet
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grandparents
grandparent
.He had many live concerts and became rich,
consequencly
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consequently
 Bakh academy created by him when he was in his middle ages.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,it's undeniable that
wriding
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writing
riding
 and writing are
importent
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important
 for all pupils, actually without reading they can'
t
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 learn
music
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 and without writing ability they can'
t
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 write any lyrics.I believe that schools must
taken
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take
be taken
show examples
 into consideration that put some
music
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 classes in student's
schule
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schedule
 because sometimes
studdents
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students
 feel bored and annoyed when only studying
theorical
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theoretical
 subjects. To conclude,In my view-point,reading and writing are really important for students,
morever
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moreover
,
music
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 and playing an
instrument
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 is important too.According to what I said above,playing an
instrument
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 as a hobby is great and has many benefits but there isn'
t
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 more important than basic abilities like reading and writing.
Submitted by aminpost on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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