IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All large companies should provide sports facility and social gathering place for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #facility #place #communities
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Some people believe that all giant firms should support local communities by providing
sports
Use synonyms
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
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 and
Use synonyms
place
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places
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 for
social
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a social
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meeting
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meetings
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.
However
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, from my perspective, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. In
this
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 essay, I will give reasons to support my opinion.
Firstly
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, building and facilitating
sports
Use synonyms
 club and meeting
place
Use synonyms
 will
streghten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 company's image. In
addtion
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addition
, corporate social responsibility becomes a vital role in
this
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 era. It can be seen that corporates
which
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that
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 have better brand awareness in
socail
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social
 tend to be more
success
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successful
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.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Singha, a company
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 highly promoting and investing in soccers
stadium
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stadiums
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 for society, performs well in building trust for local people.
As a result
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, its sales have higher than its competitors.
Therefore
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, supporting communities by helping them in
this
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 aspect will definitely return to companys, indirectly.
Secondly
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, all large enterprises have more capital than small and
meduim
Correct your spelling
medium
 enterprises, and they normally get a higher profit.
Hence
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, they should pay back to societies and develop areas by empowering the communities, so that they could find new employees easier. For
intance
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instance
, CPF , the largest retails company in Thailand, is building many places for
social
Add an article
a social
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 gathering
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place
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places
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 and
sports
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club
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clubs
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. The CEO of CPF aims at gaining trust so that local people may want to work with CPF. In conclusion, all leading companies should pay
attendtion
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attention
 to invest in providing
sports
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place
Use synonyms
 and meeting
place
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.
This
Linking Words
 may spend a lot of money.
Nevertheless
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, I firmly believe that
such
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 companies will receive
somethings
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some things
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 back from the societies both directly and indirectly way
such
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 as
positive
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a positive
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 reputation, gaining
trust
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the trust
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from
Change preposition
of
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 local residents.
Submitted by kanokwann.joy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Community welfare
  • Social cohesion
  • Brand image
  • Goodwill
  • Feasible
  • Financial constraints
  • Local government
  • Networking
  • Productive activities
  • Social amenities
  • Foster
  • Civic engagement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: