Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activities in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#forms #leisure #activities #countries #adults #development

Nowadays,shopping is the most popular entertainment

between

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for

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young

adult

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adults

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around the world.

This

essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks of shopping. On one hand,shopping puts many positive effects on both society and

indivisual

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individual

individuals

.One of the main

benefit

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benefits

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of shopping is that, how much shopping is popular in the specific area,the economy has improved so fast there,

thus

, many job opportunities created for

local

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the local

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population.From

psychological

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a psychological

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perspective,shopping brings some great

feeling

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feelings

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to young

adult

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adults

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especially women.

Acoording

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According

to an article in

this

field of study,more than 60% of women prefer to

shopping

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shop

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instead

of visiting historical places.They give great feelings like

satisfy

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satisfaction

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and

joyfull

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joyful

.They would like

spending

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to spend

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their

sparetime

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spare time

at shopping

centers

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centres

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On the other hand

,shopping presents some drawbacks,

firstly

,with shopping

youngesters

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youngsters

will spend

large

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a large

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amount of their money which they can save in their bank for a rainy day or their upset their family's budget.The other drawback is that as much as

young

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a young

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adult

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adults

show examples

go to

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go-to

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shopping

centers

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centres

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and purchase new things,they'll

porn

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be porn

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addicted to

buy

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buying

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new assets,

furthermore

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,furthermore

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they'll waste their money and time at

luxuries

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luxurious

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shopping malls. In conclusion,According to what I

mention

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mentioned

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above,shopping has many

possitive

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positive

and negative aspects.I believe that the benefits

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are

show examples

far more its drawbacks.

Submitted by aminpost on Sat Sep 25 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

198 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activities in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your sibling has sent you a letter asking for an update on your life. Write a letter to your sibling. In your letter: - Describe what you did for your last birthday - Ask for photos of your sibling’s last holiday - Talk about something you are looking forward to

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Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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