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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Nowadays, there are many working
people
Use synonyms
don’t
Correct pronoun usage
who don’t
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 get enough
exercise
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 during the working or non-working
hours
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 and
this
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 leads to
have
Change the verb form
having
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 many health problems. There are several reasons for
this
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 lacking
exercise
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 and
this
Linking Words
 can be avoided by making some arrangements in working culture. Presently, the most reason everyone complains that they
can’t
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 do exercises is due to not enough
time
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.
Firstly
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, many spending long
hours
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 in the office as companies trying to finish their projects with a limited workforce.
As a result
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 of
this
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, in most cases, one person requires to complete works which should be done by two persons.
For example
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, if a person works for 11
hours
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 every day, he
can’t
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 afford to get
time
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 to do
exercise
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.
Secondly
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, many spend long
hours
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 commuting as they
can’t
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 find accommodation closer to their work within their budget.
For instance
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, in Singapore, it’s almost impossible to find
an
Correct article usage
apply
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accommodation near a business district. On average, many
people
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 in Singapore spending at least two
hours
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 for commute daily. In general, long working
hours
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 and commute
hours
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 are the main reasons workers
can’t
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 do enough
exercise
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. These problems can be solved by making small adjustments in working culture and companies can help to make that change happen. Even if companies
can’t
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 reduce the working
hours
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 for their employees immediately, they can strongly recommend their workers to take breaks during their working
hours
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.
Furthermore
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, some
exercise
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 activities can be arranged during working
hours
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 for employees.
Also
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, employers can introduce flexible working arrangements
such
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 as two days
in
Change preposition
apply
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a week employees can do their work from home.
This
Linking Words
 will help to avoid long commute
hours
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 and
people
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 can use
this
Linking Words
time
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 to do
exercise
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. In conclusion,
people
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 don’t get enough
time
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 to do exercises in
this
Linking Words
 busy and fast-moving world but by making
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
small adjustments in working place and working culture can help them to do
exercise
Use synonyms
.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
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