IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there are many working
people
Use synonyms
don’t
Correct pronoun usage
who don’t
show examples
 get enough
exercise
Use synonyms
 during the working or non-working
hours
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 leads to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 many health problems. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 lacking
exercise
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 can be avoided by making some arrangements in working culture. Presently, the most reason everyone complains that they
can’t
Use synonyms
 do exercises is due to not enough
time
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many spending long
hours
Use synonyms
 in the office as companies trying to finish their projects with a limited workforce.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, in most cases, one person requires to complete works which should be done by two persons.
For example
Linking Words
, if a person works for 11
hours
Use synonyms
 every day, he
can’t
Use synonyms
 afford to get
time
Use synonyms
 to do
exercise
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many spend long
hours
Use synonyms
 commuting as they
can’t
Use synonyms
 find accommodation closer to their work within their budget.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Singapore, it’s almost impossible to find
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accommodation near a business district. On average, many
people
Use synonyms
 in Singapore spending at least two
hours
Use synonyms
 for commute daily. In general, long working
hours
Use synonyms
 and commute
hours
Use synonyms
 are the main reasons workers
can’t
Use synonyms
 do enough
exercise
Use synonyms
. These problems can be solved by making small adjustments in working culture and companies can help to make that change happen. Even if companies
can’t
Use synonyms
 reduce the working
hours
Use synonyms
 for their employees immediately, they can strongly recommend their workers to take breaks during their working
hours
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some
exercise
Use synonyms
 activities can be arranged during working
hours
Use synonyms
 for employees.
Also
Linking Words
, employers can introduce flexible working arrangements
such
Linking Words
 as two days
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a week employees can do their work from home.
This
Linking Words
 will help to avoid long commute
hours
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 can use
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 to do
exercise
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 don’t get enough
time
Use synonyms
 to do exercises in
this
Linking Words
 busy and fast-moving world but by making
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
small adjustments in working place and working culture can help them to do
exercise
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: