IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. Discuss both sides and give you opionion.

#people #intelligence #opionion
Certain
Add an article
A certain
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of individuals believe that IQ level is an inborn quality while others opine that it could be improved by learning.I personally agree with the latter statement as
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of people are born with
an average intelligence levels
Correct the article-noun agreement
average intelligence levels
an average intelligence level
show examples
.
To begin
 with, medical science is
field
Add an article
a field
the field
show examples
 of exceptions we often view that there are certain people who have
an inborn qualities
Correct the article-noun agreement
an inborn quality
inborn qualities
show examples
 related to memory .They can perform calculations within fractions of seconds that may not be possible for a normal person .
For example
 , famous scientist John
bonnings
Correct your spelling
bunnings
bannings
 had exceptional features related to physics he always viewed different
equipments
Change the wording
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 in the lab with curiosity so he has a role in the various inventions in
this
 field.
Secondly
, in today’s modern world there is a colossal upsurge in the level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intelligence by regular learning thanks to the ubiquity
state-of-art
Change preposition
of state-of-art
show examples
 technology ,modernisation and globalisation which has made education quite easy.For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
 ,
spread
Add an article
the spread
show examples
 of awareness for education and implementation of proper rules and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 has uplifted the living standard of people living in low slum areas.
Additinally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
installation
Correct article usage
the installation
show examples
 of
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 software’s has enhanced
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
 capabilities of the younger population.
Further
, both public and private organisations should come forward for
effective
Correct article usage
the effective
show examples
 implementation of skills related to reading. In a nutshell, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 though
intelligence
Add an article
the intelligence
show examples
 is innate
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
a lot could be done by providing adequate facilities in the field of learning.
Submitted by dr.jotdhaliwal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: