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Band 4.5

What effects smoking has on human body? Should be banned in public places?

#effects #body #places
There is no doubt that smoking is hazardous to
human
Add an article
the human
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 body and can lead to various diseases.
Moreover
, there is a vast majority of
people
, who are of the opinion that smoking should be prohibited in public places. In my opinion, though smoking is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 human beings, still should be banned completely.
Firstly
,
lets
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let's
let us
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 discuss the advantages of smoking. It is a proven fact that
people
 smoke to relax and release their tension.
In addition
, it allows a person to be productive because it enhances the concentration level.
Furthermore
, Governments are
also
 benefiting by levying taxes on the sale of tobacco, as it helps them to generate revenue. Smoking
also
 supports the job market and economy by allowing tobacco manufacturers to
employee
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employ
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workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
 for manufacturing
purpose
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purposes
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.
Hence
, supporting salary class
people
 to manage their household. Undoubtedly, smoking is very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
human
Add an article
a human
the human
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being
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beings
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. It
also
effect
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affect
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 health of
people
 who are nearby
an
Correct article usage
apply
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active
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
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that is
 why they are called passive smokers. Smoking leads to numerous
illness
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illnesses
show examples
such
 as heart and lung diseases.
Similarly
, smoking is the leading cause of lung cancer. Generally, cancer treatments are expensive
hence
 smoking is financially not viable.
Moreover
, smoking in public places or large gatherings will
also
 negatively impact the health of non-smokers.
For example
, one of my
friend
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friends
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 is a chain smoker. Whenever he is invited to my home for a
get together
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get-together
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, he always
smoke
Change the verb form
smokes
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 post lunch or dinner.
As a result
, it
also
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affects
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effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 my health. To conclude, I would like to highlight that there should be laws implemented for smoking in public places.
However
, smoking should not be banned completely.
Submitted by aznabeel on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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