IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say governments should give priority to health care, while others believe that taxpayers’ money should be spent on other important things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, people who
keeps
Change the verb form
keep

The singular verb keeps does not appear to agree with the plural subject people. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 the opinion that government should use the majority of
cost
Add an article
the cost

The noun phrase cost seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 to enhance the
healthy
Replace the word
health

The word healthy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 care system because there’s a theory called opportunity cost, which means the resource could only be used in one way and another purpose of it would be given up. So, economically, people may
against
Add a missing verb
be against

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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government
Add an article
the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 from putting the priority of expense on
healthy
Replace the word
health

The word healthy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 care.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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