IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #action #crime
The question of whether importing
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enormous
food
 from foreign
countries
 has a positive impact can certainly claim a debatable point in some
countries
.
This
 essay will explain both negative and positive
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 with the following details and exemplars.
To begin
 with, it seems that a financial burden can be a reason why many developing
countries
 have relied on importing
food
 from other
countries
.
This
 is because many agricultural
countries
 in which have been highly developed in scientific cultivations provide customers
their
Add the preposition
with their
show examples
 farm produces
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 cheaper prices. According to a recent survey, those who have purchased imported foods explicitly showed dramatic decreases
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 domestic expenditures.
Therefore
 importing abroad
food
 has been become a positive
trend
 between some who want to do a reasonable consumption.
On the other hand
, it is unquestionably a fact that
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
threatens
Replace the word
threats
show examples
 on domestic agriculture is a negative
trend
 due to a dependence
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 importing abroad
food
. Thanks to
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 imported
food
Change to a plural noun
foods
show examples
, many consumers can have reasonable choices to buy cheaper groceries at stores.
However
, many domestic farmers could
lost
Change the verb form
lose
show examples
 their competitive
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
costs against abroad farmers providing lower prices by
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
 of scale. For these reasons, some governments strongly recommend that domestic farmers be competitive manufactures who produce
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
foods compared with cheaper produces from abroad. To sum up,
although
 importing
food
 from foreign
countries
 has contributed
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 booming some positive trends
such
 as reducing domestic expenditures, I firmly believe that excessive dependence on importing
food
 from other
countries
 has caused a negative
trend
 like a crisis of domestic farms.(258, 45)
Submitted by shoep11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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