IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that studying in a college or university is the best way for students to prepare for their future career. Others think they should leave school as soon as possible to develop their career through work experience. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #college #university #students #future #career #school #work
It is commonly believed that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should have as much experience as possible to have success in their professional life
instead
 of
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
 a graduated or
upergraduated
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
student
. The advantage of
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
 skills versus the identification of
student
 vocation
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 me believe that the balance is essential. On the one hand, the majority of the students that have the opportunity to attend a university are introduced to a wide range of subjects. With
these information
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
, it is easier to identify a vocation.
For example
, the information technology area has many possible sub-areas, so it is quite difficult to be
envolved
Correct your spelling
involved
 in all of them at once.
Therefore
, choosing the field that most matches
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one’s personality would direct them to a better path.
On the other hand
, not only the theory presented in the college is important to be a good professional. The practice is crucial to improve what was learned in class and to
aprimorate
Correct your spelling
primate
 the skills. People with a lot of experience tend to be well visible in the
maket
Correct your spelling
market
, which gives more chance to find a job.
However
, the certification has
also
 a big value for multinational companies. To conclude, there are many benefits in having a degree and
also
 in have a large work history. In my opinion, the best way is
Change preposition
to manager
show examples
manager
Replace the word
manage
show examples
 both parameters together, giving the
student
 the possibility to be in the university and
also
 to be a trainee in a company. In my case, I
woudn’t
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
 have been able to work abroad if I have not completed my degree.
Submitted by consuelochaves on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!